tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-56390706891516878142024-03-13T12:12:24.382-07:00Our Cleft journey… and so much more.bugbeefamilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09521483744897665620noreply@blogger.comBlogger480125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639070689151687814.post-62127292275454317122016-08-25T20:42:00.002-07:002016-08-25T20:42:46.483-07:00Lake Chelan <a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4i_1zWw8-8I/V7-sD1NafTI/AAAAAAAAVFg/SUl7eGUXvw4z3CKBjr-jcqdGYYGtJLv9QCK4B/s1600/20160801-AG8A5028.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4i_1zWw8-8I/V7-sD1NafTI/AAAAAAAAVFg/SUl7eGUXvw4z3CKBjr-jcqdGYYGtJLv9QCK4B/s400/20160801-AG8A5028.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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Well well well, here we go again. The guilt of not documenting for the kids has won over. Hoping to be able to use this as a place to keep memories, funny stories and to share my thousands of pictures that I take.</div>
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We'll start with our summer trip to Lake Chelan. Was it a "vacation"... hell no. But was it fun... yes (most of the time). The boys loved the sunshine, water and most importantly, the fishing. Endless fishing. </div>
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Of course the visit wouldn't have been what it was if it wasn't for friends that we never get to see. Tyler, Alex and Graham gave Luca a run for his money... or maybe it was the other way around.</div>
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The blustery day in Chelan was made better with a go cart ride and dinner at Lakeview. </div>
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I think the highlight of the trip was the boat day. Tyler couldn't get enough tubing in and even topped it off with a jump of the cliff. Of course, Jeff showed them up and did a Olympic style dive.</div>
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We tricked Evie into a ride on the tube with Tyler and to her surprise, she enjoyed it. By the end of the boating day, 6 hours on the water proved to be too much. Alex, Graham and Evie were all sacked out as we pulled up to the dock. Needless to say, they slept hard that night. </div>
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What visit is complete with out a visit to Slide Waters.</div>
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The Condo pool was a close second to Slide Waters.</div>
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Overall, I have to say it was a success, thanks to the amazing wines Chelan has to offer :) </div>
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bugbeefamilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09521483744897665620noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639070689151687814.post-34301729249927537962015-08-03T21:36:00.000-07:002015-08-03T21:36:03.361-07:00learning to love<div style="text-align: center;">
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It's no secret that I am a baby mom. It's quite apparent by the work that I chose to do. When I was younger I always much preferred babysitting the babies. I played dolls until I was much too old to be playing dolls. Then I had my first baby at the young age of 25. I savored those baby years, all 9 of them. I will never forget that feeling I got every time I walked into Babie's R Us, that I belonged there. But now my babies are not babies and I am learning what it't like to not be a baby mom. Some days are easier than others. Some days I relish the sleep full nights, the absence of baby accessories, the nearing of being diaper free. Most days I don't. I long for the little things, like rear facing carseats, strollers, Moby's, newborn diapers and even middle of the night feedings. </div>
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I am learning though, that there are fun times to be had. </div>
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The joy I get from watching my oldest do what he loves the most is like no other. </div>
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The pride I have when my six year old learns how to swim and ride a bike, all in one summer!</div>
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The excitement I get thinking about this guy in Pre-K.</div>
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Or the thankfulness for all things girly that I get to do with this little one.</div>
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There is so much more to come!</div>
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bugbeefamilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09521483744897665620noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639070689151687814.post-27367780834877767752015-07-23T22:17:00.000-07:002015-07-23T22:17:51.101-07:00Alexander {6}
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Well, way back on May 4th my second born turned 6... and then summer happened.</div>
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What can I say about Alexander Daniel? He is by far my most loving boy. He is the first to tell me that he loves me and missed me when I come home from work. He loves all things sports. He made it through his first year of school with flying colors. He has lost 2 teeth. He eats, breaths and sleeps the 49ers. </div>
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...And he is the most stubborn little six year old I know. </div>
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He may make it to seven...</div>
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bugbeefamilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09521483744897665620noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639070689151687814.post-36831682224843936432015-03-30T22:20:00.001-07:002015-03-30T22:20:30.215-07:00Happy Birthday Sweet Evelyn!
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Well, the day has come. For the last 6 years I have had a baby in the house. Today marks the end of an era and the opening of many new adventures. Evelyn is a blessing that I could have never imagined we would have. She was the most perfect surprise. The perfect ending to our growing family. Her brothers adore her, her dad thinks she is pretty sweet and her momma, well that's a whole other story! She completes us in the most perfect way. </div>
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With her there is never enough pink. With her there is never too many babies. And with her there is all the snuggles I could ever want. I stand no chance against her big blue eyes and curly blond hair. My heart melts with each "My Momma" and "I yuv you". </div>
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Ok, enough with my gushing. Evelyn, here is a little bit about you on this, your 2nd Birthday. You are definitely the baby and are exerting your right to have everything you want. And sadly enough we usually oblige, whether it is your brothers or us. I guess thats the perk of being the baby... we are so sick of hearing whining we will do anything to prevent it. However, I will say, that you have your thank you's down, so at least your gracious. </div>
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You are such the little momma. A baby is in tow wherever we go. Oh, and real babies, don't even get me started. You will be an amazing momma some day, I can already tell. </div>
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Your happiness is a true blessing. While you may have your moments, you tend to be a happy little camper. You are content to escape and take care of your babies and don't require constant attention. Elsa is still a huge hit around here... God help me. It's pretty cool to have princesses around the house, but if I hear Let it Go one more time I might scream. </div>
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You are talking so much, it amazes me. Two, three, sometimes four words all strung together. My favorite was when you came up to me with a big puppy dog lip and said "Momma, A-yex push me. Bad boy A-yex." You are quick to discipline your brothers these days, which is pretty hilarious. I wonder where you got that from. Occasionally I overhear you disciplining your babies, but mostly just shushing them. </div>
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Eating is not necessarily your fortay. You seem to be somewhat of a self made vegetarian, although you will do anything for bacon. Salad is a new favorite of yours and if I don't give you your own, you will make yourself right at home with my plate. We have mostly done away with bottles but occasionally you will request one and I willingly give it to you. Anything to keep you little longer. </div>
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You are a mommas girl, there is no doubt about that. When you here I am leaving your promptly cry and say "no leave momma". It melts my heart just a little since none of your brothers did this. There is nothing better than the "MOMMA!" that I get when I get home from a long day at work. You would have me carry you everywhere if you could. Luckily, you continue to be mostly easy going, but are definitely starting to exhibit some of the terrible twos. No's are usually met with a drop to the floor and/or tears. Thankfully you recover pretty quickly. </div>
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Evelyn Anne, I have said this before and I will say it again... You are the perfect ending to our perfect story. While Tyler gets to suffer the wrath of being the first born, you too get to suffer the wrath but in the opposite way. Each and every day I will remind you that you are my baby, my last. And each and every day I will make one request of you... please don't grow up. </div>
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I love you baby E!</div>
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bugbeefamilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09521483744897665620noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639070689151687814.post-7453384430016304502015-03-14T14:54:00.000-07:002015-03-14T14:54:07.694-07:00Double Digits...<div style="text-align: center;">
T minus 1 day and I will be the mother of a 10 year old! How does that happen? It feels like yesterday that I was surrounded by my family and friends after emergently welcoming him into this world. Groggily I talked to Dan on the phone, giving him every last detail of the hurried birth while snuggling the tiniest, cutest little boy I had ever laid my eyes on. His full head of hair and long toes were among the many things I was so amazed by. I claimed he had Dan's nose, although that didn't hold true. <br />
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Our first year together was bliss. Tyler proved to be a pretty easy baby. We got to welcome daddy home and moved into our own hose as a family. It was so fun to see him learn and grow. And grow he did! To quickly.<br />
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From his first steps to the first times outs, they were firsts for all of us. We are learning every step of the way with him. Soon we will encounter our first dances, first girlfriends and first driving experiences. Although he is getting older, the firsts will never end with him. He has weathered our learning curve and always forgives us when we admit to messing up. With him he knows that everything is a battle worth fighting and he is learning to work with us as we are with him.<br />
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Tyler has endured a lot of change this year and done it in stride. He has found his place at his new school and done so with ease. We are beyond thankful for this experience and he is too. This spring brings about another new adventure. Tyler joined a new baseball team. Practices are underway and we are looking forward to another exciting season!<br />
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Thank you Tyler James, for making me a momma. For putting up with me. For making me smile, laugh and even cry. Thank you for being you, even when we punish you for it. Thank you for loving me through the rough times. And most of all, thank you for teaching me how to be the best mom I can be. I know you hate to hear it, but you will forever be my baby.<br />
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bugbeefamilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09521483744897665620noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639070689151687814.post-21709172795787634972015-02-19T14:09:00.001-08:002015-02-19T14:09:29.578-08:00Still learning<div style="text-align: center;">
After being a mom for 10 years you would think I had this thing down. But just when you think you have gotten in a grove, those kids, they go and change things up on you. </div>
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One thing I know about my parenting is that I have high expectations. High expectations of myself, and of my kids. I have come to find out that these expectations get in the way... a lot. Choosing my battles is one thing I have not mastered. To me every battle seems to be the most important. After all, I am trying to raise responsible, caring, and hard working kids. Dan and I never have and never will serve things on a silver platter. However, I have started to ask myself more frequently, where is the happy medium? Where is that spot that we can meet in the middle and everyone can be happy? My frustrations have far outweighed my happiness these days and I feel guilty. Guilty that I am taking away a carefree childhood from my kids. Guilty that I am noticing all the bad things and none of the good. But most of all guilty that I am not simply being with my kids. </div>
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So today, I write this down to hold myself accountable. This year, instead of giving up some meaningless thing for lent, I am going to gain something. I am going to gain happiness. I am going to gain time with my kids. Most importantly, I hope to gain a better relationship with the ones I love the most.</div>
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Sometimes life just ain't pretty, and that's ok.</div>
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bugbeefamilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09521483744897665620noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639070689151687814.post-23535291357985173172015-02-05T14:04:00.001-08:002015-02-05T14:04:35.503-08:00It's the little things...
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The beginning of a new year always gets me into a sentimental mood. It's no secret that I don't like the passing of time. As a matter of fact, I down right hate it. The thought of my babies growing up sends my heart into palpitations. Shoot, going up a size in diapers is like open heart surgery to me. Just wait until the day I don't have to buy diapers at all. Watch out Target patrons, I might be holding a vigil there. </div>
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On the flip side of the heart ache, I begin to think about all the things that I am missing out on right now while I am worrying about what is behind me. The constant arguing will eventually fade. The discipline, the consequences, the bargaining... that will all be a distant memory. What we will be left with are the good times. The times we took a walk to the park as a family. The times I sat down and played games with my kids. The vacations we took and the moments that we shared, those are what will stay with us. </div>
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While I know this to be true it is still a real struggle to make time for those moments. To put aside the housecleaning, the cooking, the grocery shopping and truly make time for my kids is challenging. Challenging, that is, until I stop and remind myself of what is truly important. </div>
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I constantly worry about how my kids will grow up. Will they like me? Will they say close, or want to move aways? Will we host family sunday dinners? These things I may not know until they come but what I can do is lay the foundation for this family and hope that it is strong enough to keep us all together. </div>
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I think January is off to a pretty good start. </div>
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Do you have any of those articles of clothing that you just can't stand but your kid loves?</div>
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Yep, this is one of them. Someday it will disappear. </div>
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On a side note... How did my kids get so lucky with their eye lashes?</div>
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bugbeefamilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09521483744897665620noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639070689151687814.post-1342556987296140852015-01-30T14:36:00.001-08:002015-01-30T14:36:20.116-08:00It can only get better
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I gave up. I did. </div>
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I gave up on something I loved because I was worried about how it would make others feel. I gave up writing about the trials and tribulations of being a mom because I felt like I could't write about what I was really feeling. Today I am letting that go. I am starting fresh. I am doing what makes me happy and not worrying about how others might perceive that. Back to blogging it is. The nitty gritty. The down and dirty. It ain't always pretty but that's our life... and I am proud of it!</div>
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2014 was a challenging year. We were faced with some difficult situations which led to big decisions which morphed into big changes. We questioned ourselves, we beat ourselves up, but in the end we did what we felt was the best for our family. It challenged us to be better parents, to look beyond the surface, to go past what we originally thought was best for our kids and to take the not so easy road. And you know what, we wouldn't change it for the world. We learned, we grew and we survived. </div>
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And in true form, 2014 went out with a bang... well, with 3 very sick kids at least.</div>
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bugbeefamilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09521483744897665620noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639070689151687814.post-86156334499316431062014-10-20T21:31:00.002-07:002014-10-20T21:31:22.404-07:00Lessons learned...<div style="text-align: center;">
I know every parent complains about how fast time passes, but as a child you just don't get it. Then you grow up and you realize, there are no truer words. As a teen every day seemed like a week and every year a decade. The wait from getting your driving permit to your license was pretty much the end of the world. Everyone tells you to slow down, enjoy the moment. But as a teen there is no slowing down, no cherishing of time. Every day is lived longing for the next. Then you have kids and you wish you could go back to your teenage self and tell them how fast it all goes. To live in each moment, the good and the bad. Learn from each moment. Because those moments you will never get back. They will always be apart of you but never like they are when they are happening. <br />
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Nothing makes me feel older than watching this gal grow up. <br />
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My sweet little Goddaughter, Abigail, left for college this year and my heart is still hurting. Not only did I get to be a big part in her upbringing, she has played a important role in my kids lives. She is the girl I hope Evie grows up to be. She is fun loving, self confident, wild and crazy. She loves her family (most of the time) and carries with her a strong sense of faith. She stands up for herself and others, oh yeah, and she is a pretty amazing soccer player. I couldn't have asked for a better role model for my kids. </div>
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Apparently we kind of love her and trust her enough to be Evelyn's God-momma.</div>
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Abby, you're enthusiasm for life is truly inspirational. You have taught me so much.</div>
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If there is one thing I can teach you, let it be to live in the moment. The future will come quicker than you could ever imagine, but the past you will never get back.</div>
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Show Gonzaga who is boss. Have fun, be safe, come home to visit often and always know that we are here for you!</div>
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We love you Abigail!<br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fPYMlJEc_Xs/VEXXpwHOI0I/AAAAAAAAUsM/cEqB4td1HLU/s1600/Abby-9289.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fPYMlJEc_Xs/VEXXpwHOI0I/AAAAAAAAUsM/cEqB4td1HLU/s1600/Abby-9289.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></div>
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bugbeefamilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09521483744897665620noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639070689151687814.post-62802505002201545082014-10-16T21:52:00.001-07:002014-10-16T21:52:16.436-07:00Making a comeback... Hopefully!<div style="text-align: center;">
Wow, life has been crazier than I ever could have imagined. Being a mom to four is no joke!</div>
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Everyday is a challenge in one way or another. I let this blog go because I was convinced that no one cared about my trials and tribulations of being the mom of a large family. I felt like all I did was vent about my misbehaving kids, or my dirty house or my husband that works too much. It became just one more thing that I had to do. One more thing that I was failing at. But, as the time went on I missed it. I missed sharing our ups and downs. I missed sharing my journey through motherhood, the good, the bad and the ugly. I missed having a place to share my photography.</div>
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So, here we go. </div>
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This is what any given day looks like at our house. Pure chaos. Fun chaos, but nonetheless, chaos. The boys are growing up and keeping us busy with sports, practices, homework and everything else that comes with having 3 boys. Evie, she is another story. She loves mommy, her bobo and dolls. Oh, and anything that her brothers may have that she wants (ie. backpacks, lunch boxes, candy, balls, ect.). She is gaining such the personality and I am starting to realize she is not going to be the docile little girl that I thought she was. She can hold her own with these three boys.</div>
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This summer was spent celebrating my wonderful parents and the family that they have created in their 50 years of marriage. Hawaii was everything that we could have dreamed it would be with four kids. Everyone thoroughly enjoyed themselves and no one was quite ready to come home. To this day, the boys are asking when we can go back. </div>
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Tyler got to play in his first traveling baseball tournament. While they may not have won any games, I am pretty sure the boys still had fun. Going from a winning season to a losing tournament was mentally tough for them, but I think they took it as a learning experience. There is always next year. </div>
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The boys may have lost but Evie was in for a win. She finally took her first steps!!</div>
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The rest of the summer was spent jumping off the high dive, bar-b-queing with friends, tubing and riding the boat, going to Suncadia and Lake Chelan with friends, and soaking up the not so relaxing days before the chaos of school began.</div>
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So there we are. </div>
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The first of what will hopefully be many more posts to come!</div>
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bugbeefamilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09521483744897665620noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639070689151687814.post-52692334964154770112014-05-28T22:01:00.000-07:002014-05-28T22:03:04.229-07:00Spring Recap<div style="text-align: center;">
I have just spent the better part of my day cleaning up my picture library, editing the pictures I wanted to keep and getting rid of those I don't. These pictures document the ups and downs, ins and outs of our lives, yet they just sit here... on my computer. It made me sad. Life has been so busy I have neglected the things that I enjoy. Because that's what you do as a mom, right? </div>
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So here goes nothing...</div>
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A little catching up.</div>
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This little one had her one year photo shoot... finally!</div>
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She is growing up so fast. She can now be found at any staircase in a 1 mile radius around her. It's as if the stairs are magnets sucking her in, which wouldn't be so bad if she actually knew how to get down them. </div>
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We are still working on walking. She has been seen standing for a few seconds on her own, but heaven forbid she ever actually do it when we want her to. </div>
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Miss Evie makes her presence known, while not so much with words but rather ear curdling screams. I wonder where she learned that from... Graham. She has acquired some words like Momma, Da Da, Aaa for Alex and Da for dog. Her new favorite thing is reading. If you even think about putting her in her crib before bed without reading a book, she will let you know. </div>
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Graham the Man is finishing up his first year of preschool. Between him and his brother I really am surprised they are still alive. Alex is in quite the attitude phase and Graham does everything Alex does... making him in an attitude phase too. Ugh, kill me know. He may... or may not... make it to his third birthday. </div>
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He had a follow up appointment with craniofacial this last week. It was weird to be back there. While they were such a huge part of our lives for the first year, it felt unfamiliar to be back. While everything looked great they were a little concerned about his speech. I would have never noticed because I understand almost 100% of what he says. But once they pointed it out I did realize that those that don't know his frequently have to ask him to repeat. So now we embark on a little speech therapy. </div>
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Graham is a feisty guy these days who never ceases to keep me on my toes. I often times take a "rest" when he does so I can recharge for the rest of the day. Thank goodness for nap time! </div>
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He is my little chatter box in the car, telling me everything he knows. He will talk to anyone that will listen, the next door neighbor, the clerk at the grocery store... the lady driving down the street with her window down. </div>
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Alexander is a whole other story. I am confident that he is the reason for the 3 white hairs I pulled out of my head yesterday. Every single request is met with resistance. The house is always a little on edge when he wakes up until we know what Alex we are going to get. The happy go lucky Alex or the whiney, I don't want to do anything Alex. It's a real joy, let me tell you. Not sure if this is a phase he is going through, the middle child syndrome coming out, or just who he is but no amount of discipline has seemed to help. It's a challenging phase for us. I keep hoping that this too shall pass.</div>
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On the happier note, he is entering the final weeks of pre-K at OLL. We feel so lucky to have had another year with Mrs. Clayton. My heart hurts just thinking about saying goodbye to her. I am pretty sure she is the only reason that Alex actually goes to school, while it may be a challenge some days. </div>
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Alex finished up his T-ball season with a fun root beer float party with his team. In true Alex fashion, getting him to games was not always fun and often met with resistance, however, he had a blast once he was there. I am looking forward to all the camps we have scheduled for the summer, although he may not be. </div>
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I love when I get to see this smiling face.</div>
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He was so proud of his very first trophy. Priceless!</div>
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Last but certainly not least Tyler. Not quite sure how I have a 9 year old! </div>
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Almost a third grade graduate, Tyler is so ready for summer. He had his big third grade sleepover, of which I vividly remember doing as a third grader at ASB. So fun to see him experiencing all the things that I loved so much as a child. </div>
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Tyler is deep into baseball season with the playoff approaching quickly. It has been a learning experience for Tyler this year as he is very emotionally involved in sports. He has grown so much as a teammate and a athlete this season. He is pitching and has found a love for it. As a mom, while I love watching him "do his thing" I hate to see how hard he is on himself when the game depends on the pitcher. Go BroncoHawks!</div>
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Tyler has been my saving grace with having 4 kids. He is a tremendous help with his siblings and I couldn't be more thankful. </div>
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Yep, that's me... that mom. </div>
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You know, the one that you see at the Gap with her kids running circle through the rounders. The one whose child gets lost at the grocery store and who I am constantly telling them not to touch and look only with their eyes. </div>
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That's me because it has to be. </div>
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There are days where I wonder what the he** I am doing taking my kids out. Why would I subject myself to such mayhem? The answer is two fold. One is simply selfish, because it is what I need. I spend my days driving kids to and from school, soccer practice, baseball games and T ball, is it too much to ask them to do one thing I want/need to do. Unfortunately, the answer is always yes after the fact. I leave feeling defeated. They win, they always do.</div>
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Secondly, I feel as though it is my job as a parent to teach them good behavior in public. I go in with good intentions. I go in thinking, this one time they are going to be good. WRONG. Nope, instead there is Graham, pulling the retractable line divider out and letting it go only to smack another kid in the face (yep, he totally did that), and there is Alex tipping over the entire stroller, baby and all, because he is too busy whining to pay attention to what he is doing. </div>
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Awesome. </div>
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Now, not only am I defeated because I haven't gotten to do the things that I wanted to do, but also because apparently I am failing as a parent, completely unable to control my kids for a mere 10 minute jaunt through the store. Thank goodness for Evie. She is very good at distracting fellow shopper with her big blue eyes and toothy little grin, so they don't notice the menaces dodging in and out all around us.</div>
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This too shall pass, they all say.</div>
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I suppose it's true.</div>
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Trouble 1 and Trouble 2</div>
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bugbeefamilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09521483744897665620noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639070689151687814.post-73601155733036344232014-04-13T15:35:00.000-07:002014-04-13T15:35:04.600-07:00Pretty in Pink<div style="text-align: center;">
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Well, we did it. We celebrated our very last first birthday in the Bugbee house. Goll, almost makes me cry when I put it that way. </div>
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Anyhow, it was an even to remember, that's for darn sure. Evie and 50 of her closest friends rang in her first birthday in a bash so pink you would have thought we painted the house with Pepto Bismol. Oh, and a little gold, since she is a princess you know.</div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9qpKTKk4vG0/U0lpzC_qpgI/AAAAAAAATOE/Z6xK9886jv0/s1600/Evie's1st-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9qpKTKk4vG0/U0lpzC_qpgI/AAAAAAAATOE/Z6xK9886jv0/s1600/Evie's1st-2.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
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It was so much fun decorating for a little girl's birthday, I may have went a little over board. </div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QDuUJzeYiJA/U0lp2h1XiPI/AAAAAAAATOw/Vlq2zKttEWI/s1600/Evie's1st-4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QDuUJzeYiJA/U0lp2h1XiPI/AAAAAAAATOw/Vlq2zKttEWI/s1600/Evie's1st-4.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
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One of my favorite parts was the photo time line. Really makes me realize how very fast it went.</div>
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We were all about pink and hearts!</div>
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The birthday girl was a touch overwhelmed to say the least.<br />
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But, when it came time for cake she was all about it.<br />
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Evie and her God-Momma, and my God Daughter, Abby.<br />
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Eloise giving loves.<br />
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As planning and anxiety that went in to making this day perfect, I would do it all again. I can't believe my little girl is ONE!</div>
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bugbeefamilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09521483744897665620noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639070689151687814.post-6890119043852672432014-02-22T21:26:00.001-08:002014-02-22T21:26:59.678-08:00Where do I go from here?<div style="text-align: center;">
I am at a weird place in my life. Everything that I have lived my life for is behind me and it is an odd feeling. In 2003, after 5 long years of college, I began my dream job as a NICU nurse. I married my wonderful husband 10 years ago in the wedding of my dreams. We bought our first house, then our second and eventually our forever house. Together we remodeled our forever house just to our liking. As a child I spent countless hours playing with my dolls and day dreaming about having my own babies some day. Well, almost nine years ago we welcomed our first son and we didn't stop there. Number 2 and 3 followed and the fourth and final was my little girl. I couldn't have been more blessed. In this time we muddled through two deployments, law school, a job change a cleft lip and many many ups and downs. And now here we are happy, healthy and complete. </div>
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<a href="https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/5BymjvaDgxQ0PV0-8B9ltdMTjNZETYmyPJy0liipFm0?feat=embedwebsite" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img height="427" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-vt0cRbXKByc/UwPxi2vh_EI/AAAAAAAAScQ/4mGOoueGz98/s640/IMG_4047.jpg" width="640" /></a>But what's next? I have always had a goal, something to look forward to. But what do I look forward to when I have everything I dreamt about since I was a little girl? The thought of looking forward to my kids growing up doesn't seem right. I don't want them to grow up. There is no new house to be had, we have the perfect one. No career change for me. I couldn't love my job any more. Sure, there are the trips we will take as a family and the adventures we will surely embark on. But nothing will be quite like the journey to motherhood. It's something special, something that saddens me I will never get to experience again. <br />
Don't get me wrong, I know I will always be a mother, but from Evie on everything will be different. Everything will be the end rather than the beginning for me. I have infant paraphernalia cluttering my living room simply because I can't bear to get rid of it. I have always just packed it up until next time. Well, this time there is no next time. I guess it's a mourning process of sorts. I will leave it there until I feel as though I am ready to part with it. Ready to admit that this is it. Ready to come to terms with the fact that there will be no more newborns in this house. I find myself doing things like burping Evie after a nursing. Yes, I burp my almost 11 month old. Not because she needs it, but rather because in my eyes she is a little baby still. I begrudgingly lowered Evie's crib, by one notch, the other night at 9:30 because she was leaning over and about to fall out. Of course I wasn't proactive in doing it right when she learned to pull herself up, because that would mean that she is getting older. That crib would never be on the first setting again. And moving up sizes in clothes and diapers, don't even get me started. It is a day full of tears each time. Oh and the Gap… I seriously might have a breakdown on the day I no longer get to shop in the infant section. Every step of the journey is a dichotomy for me. On one hand I am happy that I have three wonderful boys and this beautiful little girl that I get to watch grow on the other hand each new thing that they do and learn puts infancy that much further behind us. I am a newborn momma, that's what I do. I am good at it. But what do I do when there is no more newborn? Will I ever be able to see a pregnant woman and not long to have that baby in me? <br />
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When I had Evie I got that feeling. The feeling that she truly completed our family. But, I didn't get that feeling that I would never want to experience that journey again. I wish I had. <br />
I hope it will come. I hope that I can experience the growing of my children with wonder and joy instead of always looking back. Because, while I don't want them to grow up and I will always want to remember what they were, I most certainly do not want to miss anything while looking the other way. <br />
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I truly am one lucky Momma!<br />
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bugbeefamilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09521483744897665620noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639070689151687814.post-9177586111952253852014-02-19T16:45:00.001-08:002014-02-19T16:45:25.956-08:00Good enough.<div style="text-align: center;">
Wishing I was doing more of this lately.</div>
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Becoming a mom of 4 kids has taught me a lot, but nothing more so than, it's just not about me anymore. People ask me on a daily basis how I do it. The truth is, I don't know. I just do. Most days I feel like I don't do it very well but at the end of the day my kids are fed, bathed, happy and healthy… and that right there is success in my eyes. I wish I could do more. I wish I could do it all. But those moments where my kids look up at me and tell me they love me makes me realize that I don't need to do it all to be good enough in their eyes.</div>
bugbeefamilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09521483744897665620noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639070689151687814.post-34227825404285033322014-01-26T21:23:00.004-08:002014-01-26T21:23:59.574-08:00She thinks she's pretty cool...
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But I'll have to admit… she's right :)</div>
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bugbeefamilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09521483744897665620noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639070689151687814.post-78419256946578627142014-01-15T22:57:00.002-08:002014-01-15T22:57:28.927-08:00My blessings...<div style="text-align: center;">
So, I have come to the conclusion that the reason my blog is failing is really quite a good reason. As I have said many many times before, life with 4 kids is insanely busy. I am pretty sure that there is not a day that goes by that someone doesn't say to me, "I don't know how do you do it". Well folks, either do I. You just do it. And like I said in my last post, sometimes you don't do it very well. It's those days that I remind myself that there is always tomorrow. All of the mayhem leaves little time for Dan and I. I will admit, neither of us are great at taking initiative either. Therefore, date nights are pretty nonexistent. Also, the thought of leaving 4 kids that I can barely handle home with a teenager… it just doesn't seem right. Let's be honest too… when I think of a perfect night it usually entails going to bed early and sleeping the whole night. I am pretty sure Dan would agree. Night time is our time. Or really, the 3 minutes from when I get into bed to the time I fall asleep, is our time. Spending time out on the computer telling the internet about my day takes second place to talking, uninterrupted, to my husband. But, tonight Dan is away, so a blogging I will be! </div>
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Tyler James, almost 9 years old</div>
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Tyler is a fierce 49ers fan and I am proud of him for that. He has chosen the team he wants to support and stuck to it despite many reasons not to. Friends telling him that they don't want to be his friend anymore (I know, really? Breaks my heart.), bad Seahawks fans shoving signs in his face, and a city that is relentlessly in love with their team that is finally winning. He preservers though and I can't think of a trait I would want more for my son. He stands tall, wears his red in the sea of blue and will cheer those 49ers on to the end, whenever that may be. </div>
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When not cheering on the 9ers he can be found on the soccer field, the slopes (where he has found a new love of snowboarding) and soon enough, on the baseball field. The boy loves sports. His book of choice is currently the NFL Records book. He is also a Cub Scout and working hard with Boppa to design his very first pinewood derby race car.</div>
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While I know that Tyler is not perfect, he is becoming just the son I could have only hoped to have. That's not to say he doesn't give me a run for my money, but he is a loving, compassionate and strong guy. He knows when he has made a mistake and knows just what he needs to do to make it better. He loves his brothers and really loves his sister. I am so proud to be his momma.</div>
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Alexander, 4.5 years old<br />
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Or Alex, rather. Because God forbid you call him Alexander, he will correct you.</div>
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Oh Alex, where do I start with you? Alex is, always has been and I am sure always will be my tough one. While his steadfastness has seemed to have waned in some areas, it is just as strong in others. </div>
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He is a bright, energetic and inquisitive pre-K'er. He, unlike Tyler, is the first to tell me all about his day, repeat his new prayers and lead us in melody with his wide array of songs learned at school. I love it. He has found a new love… Star Wars Legos. And no, it's not good enough to just have Tyler's old broken down sets, he has to have his own. Not sure I can blame him on that one though. Looking through three huge bins of grey and black legos to find the right piece isn't exactly my idea of fun either. </div>
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Much to my surprise, Alex took his first ski lesson last week. While the conditions weren't favorable, he took it like a champ and even said he would go back next week. Just maybe this kid is getting a little easier. Ha, I say that until I try another swim class and we spend the entire session sitting outside of the pool. He is, however, eager to begin his T-ball career this spring. </div>
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Last but not least, Alex received his first Kindergarten acceptance letter! Can hardly believe that my second born is going to be in kindergarten already. </div>
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What I love the most about Alex is his out of the blue "I Love You's". They are absolutely the best. He knows exactly when I need one.</div>
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Graham "Cracker" 2.5 years old<br />
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Hmm, Graham. I think there is one word that pretty much sums it up for him these days. Parrot. He will take anything he hears and repeat it, over, and over, and over again. My favorite right now is, "What dat for mom?" He uses it for everything. Usually it is meant in the context of, what is that/this, but sometimes only your guess is as good as mine. Boppa had eye surgery the week before Thanksgiving and is pretty much on the mend, but there is not a day that goes by that he doesn't ask "Boppa have owie?". My second favorite Graham-ism has to be "Dare momma's ospital where you take care of sick babies." This is said every time we pass by Seattle Children's, which is a lot. <br />
He is my little side kick these days. On days that he is not in school he is my constant running commentary. He holds me accountable and keep me on my toes. I love you so much little man. </div>
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Graham's cleft issues are minimal at the moment. He had his second dental appointment and all things look good. Much to our surprise he is getting a tooth in the area where his gum was cleft. It is small and a little misshapen, but this bodes well for his GPP having taken. Sparing him bone grafting in the future would be such a blessing. We will continue to follow up with the hospital dentist but will not see our cleft team again for another year and a half. <br />
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Evelyn Anne, 9 months<br />
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My baby, she is growing up. Evelyn Anne, I cannot tell you how much joy you have brought into our lives. Your smile is infectious, your giggle irresistible and the way you quietly demand attention is impressive. Even Nana will agree, there is not a single place we could go that people don't comment on you. Movement is the word in her book. You put her down and she is off to get into everything that she is not supposed to. However, while she is fond of her new found traveling skills, she is definitely not opposed to snuggles and just hanging out. For this I am thankful. Her latest and greatest trick his her chatter. When things get chaotic around here, which they often do, she is not willing to get lost in the sea of boys. She exerts herself and lets everyone know that she is indeed here too!<br />
She is an amazing gift to our family and there is not a day that goes by that I don't thank God that she is ours. <br />
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Ahh, updates done, and it feels so good!</div>
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bugbeefamilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09521483744897665620noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639070689151687814.post-17476695497168915852013-12-29T15:15:00.002-08:002013-12-29T15:15:22.778-08:002014...<div style="text-align: center;">
I have sat down to write this post about a dozen times. Not sure why, but the creative juices just aren't flowing for me. I have always been so inspired when it came to my photography and my blog. It has been a source of enjoyment and self reflection. However, as of late, it serves as one more thing on my never ending list of things to do. I want to sit down and write about how our life is rainbows and roses, but the truth is, it's not. There are days I never get out of my pajama pants. There are days that I feel all I do is yell at my kids. There are days where it seems nothing I do, and I mean NOTHING, is good enough. Meals don't always get made, laundry doesn't always get finished and yes, sometimes the toilets go way too long without a scrubbing. </div>
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This is life… this is my life. </div>
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All I want out of my life is no regret. I don't want to look back and wish that I played Legos with my boys more, held Evie a little longer and spent a little more time just being with my family. The question is, how do I get there? There is always "one more thing I have to do" before I can help Alex with his new set. There is always "one more minute" before I can play a game with Tyler. And bedtime with Graham and Evie is always so rushed, because lets face it, by the end of the day I am exhausted. I try to be conscious of my action. I try to be the parent that I believe my children deserve, but life and the to-dos always find a way to creep back in. </div>
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So with this being said, what I hope for for 2014 is</div>
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BALANCE. </div>
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I hope to cherish each and every moment. I will strive to live for today and not fear tomorrow. </div>
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I hope to spend more time with my kids and make my marriage a priority. </div>
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Most of all I will have no regrets.<br />
This is my one chance… there are no do overs in life.</div>
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What are you goals for 2014? </div>
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bugbeefamilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09521483744897665620noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639070689151687814.post-82918052120286811462013-10-04T22:12:00.001-07:002013-10-04T22:12:17.645-07:00Rolling Rolling Rolling<div style="text-align: center;">
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Someone thinks she is pretty cool... even with her thumb in her mouth.</div>
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bugbeefamilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09521483744897665620noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639070689151687814.post-7404905763942051602013-09-20T23:10:00.002-07:002013-09-20T23:10:54.412-07:00Life as I know it<div style="text-align: center;">
I want so badly to be able to do it all. Each day that goes by that I am not able to sit down and do the things that have been on the list of my "would like to do's" kills me. If there is one thing that I have learned about being the mom to 4 kids it is, it's no longer about me... at all! The second I sit down to do the things that I enjoy doing there is someone there whining that they want apple juice or a snack. It's just not enjoyable. Hence the severe lack of blog posts. Every day I say, today will be the day, I WILL get some pictures edited and a posts written. Then each night I go to bed saying, ok, well maybe tomorrow. Well, with Dan being gone for a few days I decided to seize the moment, stay up late and knock out a few posts. Here goes nothing.</div>
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Last month I was lucky enough to be visited by my bestie, Jenny, and her daughter Emma. As always, we had a blast and made use of every second we were able to spend together. I even got to take advantage of Jenny's budding photography skills and grab a quick photo shoot with my girl. </div>
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I am so thankful to have these gems of me on the other side of the camera!<br />
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The summer went out with a bang and we are finally settling into the school year. We are making the rounds this year with the boys at three different schools. While the mornings are quite busy, I am savoring my quiet moments with Evie. Even if it is just 2 hours a week. <br />
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Tyler is highly impressed with my photo op, you can tell. <br />
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Tyler started third grade at ASB with Mrs. Eusebio as his teacher.<br />
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Alex was so excited to be going to his new school, OLL, and getting big brother Tyler's old teacher, Mrs. Clayton.<br />
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Graham is a big boy now... so he thinks. He has followed in the footsteps of his brothers and started at The Children's School. Ms. Tiereny and Teacher Lisa Eve are his teachers this year. He loves that he finally gets to go to school. <br />
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<a href="https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/y2W_vcb5kPFNNEKGyAg5XtMTjNZETYmyPJy0liipFm0?feat=embedwebsite"><img height="427" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-XXcPG4mRjgA/Uj00AlTgjUI/AAAAAAAAP-Y/2QaYatjKZ0o/s640/firstdayofschool-8615copy.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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And we can't forget Ms. Evie. We decided she needed a photo shoot on our first day sans boys. When not taking pictures we can regularly be found at Greenlake and Starbucks.<br />
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And there you have it my friends... August and the beginning of September in a nutshell.<br />
Next up... Evie's 5 month post.<br />
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bugbeefamilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09521483744897665620noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639070689151687814.post-3710753047880581992013-09-05T19:11:00.002-07:002013-09-05T19:11:29.049-07:00California 2013<div style="text-align: center;">
It is definitely no secret that life is crazy here. There are just not enough hours in the day to do everything that I need to do. That leaves pretty much no room for the things that I want to do, like blogging. Something has to give and keeping the blog up to date has been the first to go. </div>
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Our annual summer trip to California did happen. And it was a blast. Since this was our vacation this year we made sure to have plenty of things for the kids. We made it to Sonoma Train Town, Great America, the driving range, Bodega Bay as well as collecting eggs, riding and feeding horses and hanging out on the ranch. Graham was in heaven this year. He never wanted to come inside. I am sure that all the animals were ready for us to leave at the end of the week.<br />
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Tyler and Alex were lucky enough to stay with Grandma and Grandpa for a week all by them selves. Although a little homesick at the beginning they ended the trip on a great note and had a lot of fun. Alex and Maddie were like two peas in a pod. </div>
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bugbeefamilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09521483744897665620noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639070689151687814.post-11027514213464248982013-08-15T21:38:00.001-07:002013-08-15T21:38:50.204-07:00Anxious<div style="text-align: center;">
I've got a lot of feelings floating around these days, but the most of which is anxious. I am heading back to work next week and I am not quite sure what to make of it. I love my job. Like really LOVE my job. But, I am not quite sure I am ready to accept the fact that the blissful days of maternity leave are quickly coming to an end. Evelyn can't really be 4 1/2 months old. She can't possibly be ready to spend an entire day with anybody but her momma. My house can't possibly run itself without me there... can it?</div>
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Not only am I not ready but I am feeling like I didn't make full use of my time. I didn't hold her enough. She spent too much time in her swing. I didn't give my boys the attention that they deserved. Oh the list can go on, and on, and on. There is just so much that I wish I could have done, or done better. Four kids is a lot... I am not going to lie. There are things that I have had to let go. My house is not as clean as I would like it. My kids dress themselves (and look like it). I don't always get a shower. But I can let those all go. What I can't let go is feeling like I haven't done enough for them. It kills me. I want more than anything to hold Evelyn all day long. I want to read endless amounts of books to Graham and play baseball until I can't physically do it anymore with Tyler and Alex. But I can't. I can't do it all. And it kills me. <br />
Why do we put this on ourselves as moms? Why is good enough never really good enough? Why can't we be happy with all that we DO do? </div>
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Feeling the mommy guilt real good right about now.</div>
bugbeefamilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09521483744897665620noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639070689151687814.post-23067682956922145162013-08-01T21:32:00.000-07:002013-08-01T21:32:33.228-07:00{four} months<div style="text-align: center;">
Count them, one, two, three, four... four whole months. </div>
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Not quite sure where the time has gone or what the heck I did with these last four months but it's true... my little girl is four months old. I can't really consider her an infant any more. She's a baby. A happy, healthy, smiling, laughing, chubby, little baby. I think what saddens me most about the big four is the what's right around the corner for me... work. </div>
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Evie, my darling, you are truly an angel these days. We are over the colic, the sleepless nights and the incessant crying. We are on to big girl stuff now. Like sleeping through the night, sucking your thumb and taking bottles. You are a very content little gal (for the most part) and will calm yourself at the first thought of unhappiness with your new best friend, your left thumb. Momma's in love!</div>
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You smile at the drop of the hat, even when you have your thumb in your mouth. Today we even heard the beginnings of your first giggles. You thought it was quite hilarious when mommy blew zerbers on your belly. I can get over the huge change in you in just the last few weeks. In the darkness of colic I was quite sure I was never going to see the light. But it is here and shining brighter than ever.<br />
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Um, seriously. I could nibble on those little toes forever. <br />
Today you weighed in at 11.5 pounds and measured 23 inches long. 10th percentile across the board. Pretty darn good for a premie I would say. You are still wearing mostly 3 month clothes and size 1 diapers. I just shipped off all of your newborn clothes to cousin Ann. It was a sad day for this momma, but I am so glad they are going to good use. <br />
Sleep is your sport. You normally wake about 7am to eat and get changed. Most days you will quickly fall back asleep until about 9 or 9:30 or sometimes longer. Your days are still a toss up. Some days it seems like you sleep all day long, others are cat nap days. We have yet to get you into a real daytime nap schedule, but I know it will come. For now naps are when you can get them in the car or in the swing. You tend to be relatively regimented about your bedtime. 7:30 is bath and feeding time and then into the crib you go. Ever since the thumb we have quit swaddling you and you put yourself to sleep easily. You will still wake on occasion at about 5 am. Thats when I bring you to bed with us, nurse you and get my snuggles in. <br />
Nursing is going great. You are not a huge eater but you do good enough. You tend to nurse about ever 3-4 hours during the day, sometimes more, sometimes less. We have FINALLY gotten you to take a bottle. It seems that you have resigned yourself to this sort of feeding, but much prefer the breast. Momma is thankful for one less worry when I go back to work. <br />
We took our first car trip to California. You did great. Details will be coming in a post soon to come.<br />
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Miss Evelyn,<br />
You are the light of my world, little one. I thank God every day for bringing you to our lives, because I can't imagine a life without you in it. You have completed our family in the most wonderful of ways. <br />
I love you little princess, more than you may ever know.</div>
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bugbeefamilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09521483744897665620noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639070689151687814.post-5470245822261293982013-07-31T21:07:00.001-07:002013-07-31T21:07:15.978-07:00Me and my kids<div style="text-align: center;">
It's not very often that I get to be in pictures since I am usually the one behind that camera. Lucky me, I know someone that love photography as much as I do! We were able to get the kids to cooperate for a short time and got some great shots. So happy to have these treasures of my and my littles. </div>
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bugbeefamilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09521483744897665620noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639070689151687814.post-30567089164527463382013-07-27T22:29:00.000-07:002013-07-27T22:29:01.249-07:00This little one...<div style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">
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...is giving me a run for my money. </div>
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Graham Henry is at that age. You know, that age where you can go from looking at him with googly eyes because he is so freaking cute to wanting to run fast as I can the other way because he is driving you crazy. His vocabulary has blossomed. I like to refer to him as my little parrot. He repeats EVERYTHING. <br />
He's my little side kick... Whether I like it or not. Hence the lack of posts and edited photos. It's like a switch goes off in him every times sit down to work at my computer. The second I sit is the exact second he needs milk, lunch, a cookie, you name it. But, I remind myself everyday, it's worth it. So the blog may not get updated, but I will never get these moments back.<br />
Not only has he grown by leaps and bounds socially but also physically. He really is no longer a baby. He is using the potty on a somewhat frequent basis, which is really exciting. The thought of having only one kid in diapers for me sounds like heaven. We have also transitioned him to his big boy bed. Much to my surprise he has done great. The crib remain in his room as a threat if he gets out of bed. So far so good. <br />
Although he shows some signs of missing his brothers while they are in California, I think he is truly enjoying his (almost) solo mommy time.<br />
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I love you little man... even if you are trouble.<br />
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bugbeefamilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09521483744897665620noreply@blogger.com0