California 2013

It is definitely no secret that life is crazy here.  There are just not enough hours in the day to do everything that I need to do.  That leaves pretty much no room for the things that I want to do, like blogging.  Something has to give and keeping the blog up to date has been the first to go.  

Our annual summer trip to California did happen.  And it was a blast.  Since this was our vacation this year we made sure to have plenty of things for the kids.  We made it to Sonoma Train Town, Great America, the driving range, Bodega Bay as well as collecting eggs, riding and feeding horses and hanging out on the ranch.  Graham was in heaven this year.  He never wanted to come inside.  I am sure that all the animals were ready for us to leave at the end of the week.

Tyler and Alex were lucky enough to stay with Grandma and Grandpa for a week all by them selves.  Although a little homesick at the beginning they ended the trip on a great note and had a lot of fun.  Alex and Maddie were like two peas in a pod.  

Anxious

I've got a lot of feelings floating around these days, but the most of which is anxious.  I am heading back to work next week and I am not quite sure what to make of it.  I love my job.  Like really LOVE my job.  But, I am not quite sure I am ready to accept the fact that the blissful days of maternity leave are quickly coming to an end.  Evelyn can't really be 4 1/2 months old.  She can't possibly be ready to spend an entire day with anybody but her momma.  My house can't possibly run itself without me there... can it?

Not only am I not ready but I am feeling like I didn't make full use of my time.  I didn't hold her enough.  She spent too much time in her swing.  I didn't give my boys the attention that they deserved.  Oh the list can go on, and on, and on.  There is just so much that I wish I could have done, or done better.  Four kids is a lot... I am not going to lie.  There are things that I have had to let go.  My house is not as clean as I would like it.  My kids dress themselves (and look like it).  I don't always get a shower.  But I can let those all go.  What I can't let go is feeling like I haven't done enough for them.  It kills me. I want more than anything to hold Evelyn all day long.  I want to read endless amounts of books to Graham and play baseball until I can't physically do it anymore with Tyler and Alex.  But I can't.  I can't do it all.  And it kills me.
Why do we put this on ourselves as moms?  Why is good enough never really good enough?   Why can't we be happy with all that we DO do?  

Feeling the mommy guilt real good right about now.

{four} months

Count them, one, two, three, four... four whole months.  

Not quite sure where the time has gone or what the heck I did with these last four months but it's true... my little girl is four months old.  I can't really consider her an infant any more.  She's a baby.  A happy, healthy, smiling, laughing, chubby, little baby.  I think what saddens me most about the big four is the what's right around the corner for me... work.  

Evie, my darling, you are truly an angel these days.  We are over the colic, the sleepless nights and the incessant crying.  We are on to big girl stuff now.  Like sleeping through the night, sucking your thumb and taking bottles.  You are a very content little gal (for the most part) and will calm yourself at the first thought of unhappiness with your new best friend, your left thumb.  Momma's in love!

You smile at the drop of the hat, even when you have your thumb in your mouth.  Today we even heard the beginnings of your first giggles.  You thought it was quite hilarious when mommy blew zerbers on your belly.  I can get over the huge change in you in just the last few weeks.  In the darkness of colic I was quite sure I was never going to see the light.  But it is here and shining brighter than ever.



Um, seriously.  I could nibble on those little toes forever.
Today you weighed in at 11.5 pounds and measured 23 inches long.  10th percentile across the board.  Pretty darn good for a premie I would say.  You are still wearing mostly 3 month clothes and size 1 diapers.  I just shipped off all of your newborn clothes to cousin Ann.  It was a sad day for this momma, but I am so glad they are going to good use.
Sleep is your sport.  You normally wake about 7am to eat and get changed.  Most days you will quickly fall back asleep until about 9 or 9:30 or sometimes longer.  Your days are still a toss up.  Some days it seems like you sleep all day long, others are cat nap days.  We have yet to get you into a real daytime nap schedule, but I know it will come.  For now naps are when you can get them in the car or in the swing.  You tend to be relatively regimented about your bedtime.  7:30 is bath and feeding time and then into the crib you go.  Ever since the thumb we have quit swaddling you and you put yourself to sleep easily.  You will still wake on occasion at about 5 am.  Thats when I bring you to bed with us, nurse you and get my snuggles in.
Nursing is going great.  You are not a huge eater but you do good enough.  You tend to nurse about ever 3-4 hours during the day, sometimes more, sometimes less.  We have FINALLY gotten you to take a bottle.  It seems that you have resigned yourself to this sort of feeding, but much prefer the breast.  Momma is thankful for one less worry when I go back to work.
We took our first car trip to California.  You did great.  Details will be coming in a post soon to come.



Miss Evelyn,
You are the light of my world, little one.  I thank God every day for bringing you to our lives, because  I can't imagine a life without you in it.  You have completed our family in the most wonderful of ways.
I love you little princess, more than you may ever know.

   

Me and my kids

It's not very often that I get to be in pictures since I am usually the one behind that camera.  Lucky me, I know someone that love photography as much as I do!  We were able to get the kids to cooperate for a short time and got some great shots.  So happy to have these treasures of my and my littles.  

This little one...

...is giving me a run for my money.  

Graham Henry is at that age.  You know,  that age where you can go from looking at him with googly eyes because he is so freaking cute to wanting to run fast as I can the other way because he is driving you crazy.  His vocabulary has blossomed.  I like to refer to him as my little parrot.  He repeats EVERYTHING.
He's my little side kick... Whether I like it or not.  Hence the lack of posts and edited photos.  It's like a switch goes off in him every times sit down to work at my computer.  The second I sit is the exact second he needs milk, lunch, a cookie, you name it.  But, I remind myself everyday, it's worth it.  So the blog may not get updated, but I will never get these moments back.
Not only has he grown by leaps and bounds socially but also physically.  He really is no longer a baby. He is using the potty on a somewhat frequent basis, which is really exciting.  The thought of having only one kid in diapers for me sounds like heaven.  We have also transitioned him to his big boy bed.  Much to my surprise he has done great.  The crib remain in his room as a threat if he gets out of bed.  So far so good.
Although he shows some signs of missing his brothers while they are in California, I think he is truly enjoying his (almost) solo mommy time.

I love you little man... even if you are trouble.

Happy Fourth

Fourth of July spent with great friends is all we could have asked for.  And that's just what we got.

Love my little firecracker.

Yep, this is the best I could get.

Love me some El!



















The celebration continued on late into the night with good times had by all.
Thank you Colleran's for hosting an amazing evening, even if I got in trouble when I got home ;)

(somehow I missed photographing the hosts!)

{Three} Months

Evelyn Anne,

 You are three months old... Wow!  While some days it feels like you have been a part of our family forever, other days it doesn't seem at all possible you have been here for 95 whole days!

Your personality is starting to shine.  While you are the sweetest little thing around, you have a tendency to be a little high maintenance.  Your colic is gradually getting better with some days being better than others.  You are all smiles these days and some coo's.  Well, when you want to be.  When you are not smiling you have the best pouty lip around.  You have started to show a preference for momma.  While it melts my heart, I am quite sure it does the opposite for your daddy and Nana when they watch you.  You may have been crying the whole time I am gone but, as soon as you hear my voice, all is right with the world.  

Your sleep has taken a few steps back to what we should expect for you at 3 months.  You go to bed usually around 8-9 after nursing and a nice tight swaddle.  You are back to waking up in the middle of the night, around 4.  You nurse and go right back to sleep until 7.  Daytime napping is what it is... or isn't.  With 3 brothers you are on the go most of the day.  Some days you sleep  while on the go and some days you don't.  You are definitely not that newborn that sleeps all the time anymore.  Your best naps are usually in the swing in the morning.

You have a love affair with your hands.  They are always in you mouth.  Heaven forbid you make use of them and suck your thumb since the binky was a complete FAIL.

You are now, officially, into 3 month clothes.  Momma has kept a select few of the newborns and still shoves you into them on occasion.  You are weighing in at just over 10 pounds these days.  Almost double your birth weight.  Crazy!  You are still my little peanut though.
Evelyn, you are the light of our lives these days.  Your brothers love you so much and momma just can't get enough of you.