Still learning

After being a mom for 10 years you would think I had this thing down.  But just when you think you have gotten in a grove,  those kids, they go and change things up on you.  

One thing I know about my parenting is that I have high expectations.  High expectations of myself, and of my kids.  I have come to find out that these expectations get in the way... a lot.  Choosing my battles is one thing I have not mastered.  To me every battle seems to be the most important.  After all, I am trying to raise responsible, caring, and hard working kids.  Dan and I never have and never will serve things on a silver platter.  However,  I have started to ask myself more frequently, where is the happy medium?  Where is that spot that we can meet in the middle and everyone can be happy?  My frustrations have far outweighed my happiness these days and I feel guilty.  Guilty that I am taking away a carefree childhood from my kids.  Guilty that I am noticing all the bad things and none of the good.  But most of all guilty that I am not simply being with my kids.  

So today, I write this down to hold myself accountable.  This year, instead of giving up some meaningless thing for lent, I am going to gain something.  I am going to gain happiness.  I am going to gain time with my kids.  Most importantly, I hope to gain a better relationship with the ones I love the most.

Sometimes life just ain't pretty, and that's ok.

  

It's the little things...

The beginning of a new year always gets me into a sentimental mood.  It's no secret that I don't like the passing of time.  As a matter of fact, I down right hate it.  The thought of my babies growing up sends my heart into palpitations.  Shoot, going up a size in diapers is like open heart surgery to me.  Just wait until the day I don't have to buy diapers at all.  Watch out Target patrons, I might be holding a vigil there.  

On the flip side of the heart ache, I begin to think about all the things that I am missing out on right now while I am worrying about what is behind me.  The constant arguing will eventually fade.  The discipline, the consequences, the bargaining... that will all be a distant memory.  What we will be left with are the good times.  The times we took a walk to the park as a family.  The times I sat down and played games with my kids.  The vacations we took and the moments that we shared, those are what will stay with us.  

While I know this to be true it is still a real struggle to make time for those moments.  To put aside the housecleaning, the cooking, the grocery shopping and truly make time for my kids is challenging. Challenging, that is, until I stop and remind myself of what is truly important.  

I constantly worry about how my kids will grow up.  Will they like me?  Will they say close, or want to move aways?  Will we host family sunday dinners?  These things I may not know until they come but what I can do is lay the foundation for this family and hope that it is strong enough to keep us all together.  

I think January is off to a pretty good start.  

Do you have any of those articles of clothing that you just can't stand but your kid loves?

Yep, this is one of them.  Someday it will disappear.  

 On a side note... How did my kids get so lucky with their eye lashes?