I have begun to question the true meaning of perfect. I mean really, what or who in the world is truly perfect? And how is one person to say that any one thing is more perfect than another? To me, my children are perfect. No, they are not the most well behaved, the most polite or the smartest, but to me they are just the way that God wanted them to be… perfect.

Last week we got some news that rocked our world. Our perfect little world, for a moment, seemed all but perfect. We went into our 18 week ultrasound more worried about the gender of this tiny human being more than anything else. Well, no, the gender was not what we had expected but by the end of the ultrasound none of that mattered. After a very long and meticulous scan, the doctor came back and informed us (with not such great bedside manner might I add) that our little guy was perfect in ever way but one. He had a defect called cleft lip and possibly cleft palate. She promptly walked out the door with not so much as a caring touch on the shoulder or word of condolence. I am pretty sure that at this point the tech started to inform us of what would happen next but I sure as heck heard nothing more than “your baby is NOT perfect”.

The days following have been full of appointments, scans and tears, lots of tears. Each day is a new beginning. Each day is a little easier than the last. Each day I am getting more comfortable with the idea that my sweet little boy will be born with a defect that does not define him and does NOT make him any less perfect than any other baby.

Thursday had in store for us a meeting with the genetic counselor. After reviewing the ultrasound data and our history there is a very low risk that the cleft is related to a more serious chromosomal abnormality. We declined to have the amniocentesis done simply because the information provided from it, which is most likely nothing, would not change our plans for this baby. There is no way around the fact that we are going to have to live with some uncertainty in all this. Ultrasound technology has it’s limits so we may not know until the baby is born what the extent of the clefting will be despite scheduled follow up exams. This, we are both learning to live with.

In all of this we are learning that life is precious. That this little guy was destined for our family. That in every challenge there is light at the end of the tunnel. That what you once may have defined as perfect can change. And that love will conquer all!

I know that this process will be ongoing until well after this little guy is born. We will have our good days and our bad days but we will get through them. We will get through them with the support and love of all those around us, family and friends. We will get through this and in the end we will have not 2 but 3 healthy, beautiful and PERFECT boys. How can we ask for anything more than that?



7 years ago today...

I married the man of my dreams!

Who would have thought that seven years, 3 houses, 2 deployments, 1 Law degree, and 2.5 little boys later we would be here. I can't think of a better place to be!
Thank you for the most amazing seven years of my life. Can't wait to see what the next seven have in store for us!
I love you!


I tried to get all crafty and redo my header. Well, apparently it was a bad time to do it because blogger is all messed up and everyone is getting blurry headers now. Should have left good enough alone! Please excuse my awful looking header until the problem is fixed.


Lucille Mayer

I love photography! I have a passion for it and some day I would love to take it further. What I do is nothing special. I don't have professional training, I don't have a degree in photography, or anything artsy for that matter. I just love it. And as with all things, I think that is the most important part of being successful... loving it.
My friend Wendy was kind enough to ask me to do some pictures of her new little one, Lucy. We had a blast! I loved every moment of it. Of course, how couldn't I? It was my 2 favorite things put together... babies and photography. The experience led me to two conclusions: 1) I loved being able to document these precious moments that I for one know goes all too fast and 2) I have a lot to learn to get my photography to a place where I want it. I am constantly pouring over blogs like this and this to find inspiration. I find these two wildly talented and hope to someday hold the talent that they do.



A little slice of heaven

This past weekend my sister, Katie, was kind enough to invite us up for some snow fun at their new "cabin" in Suncadia. We were all over that. Two days of no electronics, no telephones, the great outdoors and some much needed family time... we were in! Who would have thought that the Bugbee family could go 30 hours with no TV, no New Years day football, no facebook and most importantly no blogging?

It was beautiful... and cold.
Like 13 degrees cold!
But that didn't stop us from getting out and enjoying some sledding with cousins Ethan and Lauren.

Yes, that is Alex all tucked in safe in Dan's lap.
After a moment of being terrified, he thought it was hilarious when they crashed at the end.

This little guy was not crazy about the cold and wanted nothing to do with his own gloves.

So after a few runs down the hill with Daddy's gloves mommy and Alex called it quits and went back to warm up by the fire.

and play some cars.

The other were soon to join us

and then the games began!

We started out with Quarto. If you haven't played it you have to try it out. It was fun for everyone! The games lasted well into the night. We played Jenga, Blockus, Trivial Pursuit (the old version) and the adults (minus me) made it a bit more fun by consuming a few beverages.

And even though the trip home was made longer by an accident, I took advantage of the time to play around with my new camera.

Thanks Milne family for a fun and relaxing visit to your new place. We can't wait to do it again!



How did we go from this...

...to this

so quickly?