These moments

I love you Evelyn.

First Communion

Last sunday was a big day in our family, Tyler James made his First Communion.  I couldn't be more proud to be his Momma.

I know I say it all the time, but this is just one more instance of how fast time moves.  I vividly remember sitting in mass watching a group of little second graders make their first communion with a tiny little love bug in my arms.  I thought to myself, won't that be so cool to see this little guy up there some day, a long time from now.  Well, that day came.  My little love bug is now a big love bug and he did great.  Didn't even grimace when sipping the wine.  He came back to the pew to proclaim, "Mom, I like the wine!"

Unfortunately, he went the opposite way so I didn't get really great photos.  But, I caught some of Karsten.

I love this photo of him giving Father a high five!

His amazing Godparents, Nick and Kate.

We are so proud of you Tyler James!

{Four}

Alexander,

Four years you have been in our lives.  Four years we have been blessed with your contagious smile.  Four years we have been tested by your unwavering stubbornness.  Four years, and we have loved every minute. 

You, as I have said over and over, are my sweetest, most loving child, but also the most challenging.  I recently looked up the definition for stubborn.  

Stubborn:

"Having or showing dogged determination not to change one's attitude or position on something, esp. in spite of good arguments or reasons."  

Yep, that's you to a T.  If it is not your idea, good luck!  You are wise beyond your years... and it kills me.  In response to me saying that you may not have a granola bar before dinner recently you replied with "Uhh, mommmm.  You're ruining my life."  Really?  Sorry buddy, you got a lot of years ahead of you, I am sure it will get worse.

You are thoroughly enjoying school this year.  Your teachers are constantly commenting on your happy nature.  I especially love all of the "art" you bring home for us.  You have made a lot of new friends this year and even had your first play date at a girl's house.  You are kind of smitten for Miss Lexie I'd say.  Tyler, Landon and Evan are just a few of your friends that we meet up with regularly.  

In stark difference to how you are at school you are not always a peach at home.  Graham and you have a love/hate relationship.  When you play together happily it is heaven for mommy.  But, the reality is that most the time you don't.  There is a lot of arguing, screaming and even the occasional hitting when you guys butt heads.  It can make for some long days for mommy.  You and Tyler have plenty of  moments too.  However, with Evie you are the most nurturing, loving and caring brother.  When she is crying you do what ever it takes to help her, even letting her suck on your thumb.   There is nothing better than watching you with her.  It makes my heart melt a million times over.  

This year you started in swimming lessons at Children's but once you moved up to the intermediate class you made up your mind that you were not going to do it.  We tried for an entire session to coax you back into the pool to no avail and eventually gave up.  I am hoping to get you started up again this summer... we'll see.  I also just signed you up for your first ever soccer camp this summer.  I am so excited to see you getting started in some sports.  I am hoping that your determination takes you a long way on the field.  

Some of the things you are loving right now:
bike riding
Buzz Lightyear
going to the bank with Boppa

Alex, your bright smile lights up my morning each and every day and I am not quite sure what I would do without your constant "I love you mom".  You test me each and every day and challenge me to be the best mom I can possibly be.  Sometimes I fail and sometimes I succeed.  But no matter what you are still right next to me, loving me just as much as I love you.  

I love you Alexander... to infinity and beyond!

Being a mom of 4...

By my lack of blog posts I think it is quite apparent that being a mom of four leaves little time to do the things that I want to do.  I am not going to lie and say that it is all roses and sunshine here... ok, maybe it is sunshine because Seattle is having some absurdly nice May weather, but there are definitely no roses.  It's tough.  This stuff is not for sissies.  I am not going to short change all of the help I have had either.  I am pretty sure I would be curled up in a ball on the floor in my room if it weren't for all my family and friends.  

On any given day it is pretty much a miracle if I get showered AND put make-up on.  My days are filled with feeding, pumping, breaking up fights, cleaning, and shushing a fussy baby in a never ending circle.  Graham, even if he can't see me, has an innate sense when I am feeding Evie and chooses to use this time wisely.  He gets into any and every bad thing he can, or heads straight to his brother and just starts whaling on him.  He's a brut, this kid.  Life as I know it is definitely no longer about me, at least not for the foreseeable future.  But, it's ok.  It's what I signed up for and it's being a mom...

Something I wouldn't, in a million years, give up!

Little Miss Evelyn is giving me a run for my money.  I don't want to say she has colic, but man she is a fussy one.  I have never had a fussy baby.  My mother-in-law will be the first to say I completely lucked out with easy babies, until now.  It really isn't the crying that I mind.  Lord knows I have put up with a fair amount of crying in my day.  But, the helpless feeling that it gives you is unbearable.  I am her mom.  I am supposed to make everything better.  But I can't, it seems.  Sure I can feed her, which provides her relief for that short time, but give her a few minutes and she is back to it.  There are times when the other kids need me and I just have to put her down and let her scream.  I hate it!

Night time is really the only reprieve from the crying.  Although she wakes up frequently to eat she tends to fall right back to sleep... so long as she is snuggled into me (much to Dan's chagrin).  We have never been and never wanted to be the co-bedding family but when it means that I get some sleep to deal with the day of crying ahead of me, then so be it.  I know that this is going to pass, and when it does we can work on the sleeping arrangements.

The boys, for the most part, have been great about all the crying.  However, Alex did tell me the other day "Mommy, we need to put Evie back in your tummy 'cause she cries too much."  Tyler will try his hardest to console her when there are things that I need to do, like tending to Graham.

And Graham, well he just pokes her in the eye proclaiming "eyes, eyes".

Nonetheless, Evie is a such a joy to have in the family.  At 1 month old she is having more alert times, usually crying unfortunately.  She loves to be snuggled and hates to be put down.  She eats about every 3 hours, but falls asleep quickly during it.  She seems to like to be on the go.  Good thing, seeing how she is number 4.  Like I mentioned above, she spends most of the night in bed with us, with some time spent in the co sleeper.  She is not a huge fan of the swing because that mens she is being put down.  I am trying my hardest to enjoy every single moment with her, even the fussy ones, because I know as well as anyone how fast this time goes.

Three weeks

Three weeks as a family of six... Yes six!  It still feels so weird to say that.  It still feels unreal to look into the eyes of my very own little baby girl.  This wasn't supposed to be.  She wasn't supposed to be. There is not a day that goes by that I don't thank God for giving her to us.  That is the only way I can describe her, a true gift from God.  

Evie is not the easiest baby, but not the toughest either.  She is not the best sleeper but most definitely not the worst.  She loves to be held, hates to be nudie and let's us know when she wants to eat.  She tolerates her brothers constant movement, poking and noise and has proven she won't get lost in the crowd.  She is perfection.  She completes our little family in such a perfect way.

As with each and every one of my kids, I hate to see the, grow up.  It all goes too fast.  I don't want these baby snuggles to end.  Yes, there is so much to look forward to, but there is no hiding that this is my very favorite.  Just look at what I do for a living.  This being my last I want to have no regrets, no I wish I had's or I should have done that's.  I am drinking in every moment of her, of all my kids.  I watch them and take in every bit of who they are today without worrying about what they will be, or won't be, tomorrow.  I have my moment, sure.  But my goal in life from this day forward is to live for today, have no regrets and love like there is no tomorrow.  

Life is so precious.

Princess

Miss Evelyn has quickly earned the nickname Princess in our house.  Alex was the first to start calling her this and he will quickly inform anyone he is introducing her to that she is the Princess.  He is so proud of his little sister.  

Two weeks has passed since we brought this little one home.  We are settling into life with a newborn once again, which she makes it pretty easy to do.  She is the perfect addition to our family.  In more ways than one, this little one completes us.

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Evelyn Anne

This post has been in the making for awhile.  I am not quite sure why its so hard for me to get down.  Is it because I have a newborn that doesn't like to sleep at night unless she is attached to my boob, maybe.  Is it because all I want to do during the day when I have a free moment is take a nap, well yes.  Or is it that any other free time I have I want to spend taking in every precious moment with this little babe.  Yes.  Or, might it be that there is a small part of me that is sad.  Sad that I missed out on the last few weeks of my pregnancy... my last pregnancy.  A little bit.  Don't get me wrong, I am loving having my little girl in my life.  But this being my fourth, I am quite aware of how fast it all goes.  Before I know it, this sweet little five pound bundle of cuteness will be too cool for my snuggles and holding momma's hand.  13 days old and I am already worrying about this day.  Keeping her in those extra 11 days would not have made any difference, but in my current state it would have made every difference.  

13 days ago my every dream came true.  Our daughter, Evelyn Anne, was welcomed into our family and into our hearts.  It was the most chaotic, amazing, unexpected and eventful day ever.  The days preceding were spent with one of my besties and her daughter, Emma.  We worked from morning until night getting this house in order for the upcoming arrival.  This would also be the first time that Jenny has been able to make it to one of my baby showers, which was planned for Saturday.  Friday we headed to the big wheel for an outing with the kids.  Jenny took some wonderful pictures of me with my boys.  Saturday morning was then met by the unexpected.  The excitement of my shower was quickly replaced by worry when I found that I was bleeding.

  

In true Bugbee fashion the morning was a whirlwind.  Dan had to take Tyler to his baseball practice, Jenny and I dropped off the other boys at my parents and headed into the hospital for some monitoring.  Being hooked up to the monitors we quickly realized that I was contracting more than we thought.  The nifedipine I had been on for the last two weeks was doing little to stop them.  Although these contractions would have been nothing more than braxton hicks for a normal pregnancy I was at higher risk for more bleeding the longer they continued.  I was admitted to the hospital for continuous monitoring for a minimum of a week, or so we thought.  Dan had made it up to the hospital, gotten the update and checked in on me.  He was given the green light to head home and prepare some stuff for the boy's Easter baskets, which I had yet to do.   Jenny and Emma decided that they would head home as it didn't seem as if anything would be happening any time soon.

Of course, not more than 30 minutes after everyone left the doctor returned to inform us that, after consulting the perinatologist, they were going to be sectioning me today, better yet, an hour from now.  Jenny quickly turned around and made it back up to the hospital.   She called Dan while the streams of people worked on me. All I could hear from the bed was "Dan, you need to come back to the hospital.  Yes, now.  Yes, like right now.  No, not in 30 minutes, NOW."  And so it began.

I was prepped and sent back to the operating room for my spinal and Dan made it just as I was being laid down.  A mere 20 minutes later, at 4:07, we heard the sweet cry of our baby girl.