The terrible two's ain't got nothing on this baby!

( I was in the midst of a great little post on the ways being a mother to boys is so wonderful. Well, today I am not so sure so this one is taking it's place for now.)

Don't let this sweet little blond haired, blued eyed boy fool you...

because I am pretty sure he is possessed by the devil!

I am not sure what to call this, the terrible two's, a strong willed child, a really bad phase. Whatever it is, it sucks and I want my sweet baby back!

A little bit of Bainbridge

Come monday the boys and I needed out of the house. I had had a long weekend at work and the boys had had a long weekend cooped up from the cold. Well, except for Tyler who got to get out for some skiing in some half way decent snow finally.

We decided to pay our good old PEPS friends Colin, Alexa and Janet a visit on Bainbridge Island. Alex was more than amazed by the fact that we got to drive our car onto the boat. And was not all too thrilled when we also had to exit the boat. I am quite sure that the only word he said the whole time we were riding was "boat" over and over again. Our at the house was not so relaxing, shall I say. Our boys, for some reason, feel it imperative that every time they see each other they wrestle... until someone gets hurt. That's what happens when you get 2 all- boy boys together I guess. Something that I am sure I will come to except over the year, but at this point it just seems so barbaric.

Needless to say, Janet and I felt it important to get them out of the house despite the 38 degree temperature. Off to the beach we went. It was fun... for about 15 minutes until I was so cold I couldn't talk and Alex was curled up in a ball next to me now reciting "cold" over and over. The boys though, not them. They were deep in some pirate or army game, I am not quite sure, but they were not ready to go. After much persuasion and a bribe of hot chocolate we got them in the car just as it started to rain.

It still amazes me that these boys are nearly six years old. It seems like yesterday that we were 10 sleep deprived, coffee dependent, breast feeding-stuggling momma's gathered in a big circle trying to keep our emotions in check as we chatted about the trials of being a new mom. Now here we are, six years later, still struggling with the trials of being a mom (of boys), but a little less sleep deprived and a lot more sane (most of the time). Thanks Janet for a fun visit. No matter how old they get it is always fun to have someone that is going through the exact same things!

On the way home we opted to stay in the car on the boat in hopes that Alex would take a nap. Well, the nap was a failure. But we played some fun games and took some fun pictures in the mirrors.

And so it begins!

Best. Buds. Forever.

They don't know it now, but some day these guys will be the best of buds.

Right now, they just need to learn to share their toys!

This is the reaction we got when it was time to leave the park. Classic.

All Kathryn and I could do was laugh the whole way home. I guess that's the key to being a mom to boys... just LAUGH!

I run…

Because that’s just what I do.

I ran until 9 months while pregnant with Tyler.

I ran until 8 months pregnant with Alex.

Not because I LOVE it, not for that “runner’s high” that rarely comes (especially when pregnant) and most definitely not because I am good at it.

I run because I love the way I feel when I am done.

I run because it gets me out of the house with this little one.

I run, he watches Elmo.

I run, that’s just what I do. But for some reason the little bean has different plans. Apparently that’s just not what he does. Nope, he does everything in his power to get me to not run. The last few weeks I have gotten increasingly harder thanks to this little man. He has found it quite fun to use my bladder as a trampoline. Now my runs are not planned by what scenery I would like to take in on a particular day but rather how many bathroom stops I can plan along the way. Lucky for me I have Magnuson park in my backyard. A park where there is a port-a-potty, a bathroom, or a tree (yes, I have contemplated it) every 100 yards. Today on my 5 mile “run” I managed to hit up 4 of them!

So for now, little man, the score is

Mommy: 1

Bean: 0

…and I still run!

Perfect

I have begun to question the true meaning of perfect. I mean really, what or who in the world is truly perfect? And how is one person to say that any one thing is more perfect than another? To me, my children are perfect. No, they are not the most well behaved, the most polite or the smartest, but to me they are just the way that God wanted them to be… perfect.

Last week we got some news that rocked our world. Our perfect little world, for a moment, seemed all but perfect. We went into our 18 week ultrasound more worried about the gender of this tiny human being more than anything else. Well, no, the gender was not what we had expected but by the end of the ultrasound none of that mattered. After a very long and meticulous scan, the doctor came back and informed us (with not such great bedside manner might I add) that our little guy was perfect in ever way but one. He had a defect called cleft lip and possibly cleft palate. She promptly walked out the door with not so much as a caring touch on the shoulder or word of condolence. I am pretty sure that at this point the tech started to inform us of what would happen next but I sure as heck heard nothing more than “your baby is NOT perfect”.

The days following have been full of appointments, scans and tears, lots of tears. Each day is a new beginning. Each day is a little easier than the last. Each day I am getting more comfortable with the idea that my sweet little boy will be born with a defect that does not define him and does NOT make him any less perfect than any other baby.

Thursday had in store for us a meeting with the genetic counselor. After reviewing the ultrasound data and our history there is a very low risk that the cleft is related to a more serious chromosomal abnormality. We declined to have the amniocentesis done simply because the information provided from it, which is most likely nothing, would not change our plans for this baby. There is no way around the fact that we are going to have to live with some uncertainty in all this. Ultrasound technology has it’s limits so we may not know until the baby is born what the extent of the clefting will be despite scheduled follow up exams. This, we are both learning to live with.

In all of this we are learning that life is precious. That this little guy was destined for our family. That in every challenge there is light at the end of the tunnel. That what you once may have defined as perfect can change. And that love will conquer all!

I know that this process will be ongoing until well after this little guy is born. We will have our good days and our bad days but we will get through them. We will get through them with the support and love of all those around us, family and friends. We will get through this and in the end we will have not 2 but 3 healthy, beautiful and PERFECT boys. How can we ask for anything more than that?