So not ready yet...

As we draw closer and closer to the day of our new arrival I am feeling less and less ready.  All the decisions that surround the arrival are weighing heavy and I am not quite sure I am ready to give up my belly yet.  It seems odd for me to say since I can clearly remember many tears being shed in the weeks before Tyler was born.  I was so anxious to have him out!  What was I thinking?  I am one person that enjoys the pregnancy part, and knowing what comes next I am willing to wait a little longer this time.  I am eager to see him, hold him and love him but I know how fast it all goes.  Right now I am just trying to enjoy every moment, because these are ones that we can never get back.  I will never be just a mom to Tyler, Tyler will never be the only child anymore, we will never be a family of 3 again, so many things to say goodbye to... and so many things to look forward to.  It is all such a big change that I haven't really grasped onto yet.  

The good thing is that all the physical stuff is ready.  The crib is up, the diapers are bought, the clothes are washed, etc.  Now I need to work on the mental preparation for what is to come.  Am I going to be a good mom to two boys?  Is this one going to sleep as well as Tyler did?

Am I going to be able to do this on my own for 4 months?  How are we going to work childcare for two children?  Will Tyler accept the new baby?  I could go on about all the fears I have but the fact is, they will not change.  I know that we will get through, like we always do.  And hopefully in the process we will have many memories to keep with us.  

Not only are we eagerly awaiting the baby, but also Dan.  He is set to come home on the 3rd (leaving Iraq on the 1st).  Seeing as how my due date is the 3rd, we are cutting it a little close.  But, we will take what we can get.  Tyler is ecstatic!  We have a calendar posted that we are counting down the days on.  Hopefully this little one doesn't choose to make his arrival before he gets here.  

"The Boys" room all ready to go!

Baby Bugbee at 36 3/7 weeks!