Today

If there is one thing I am not good at it is definitely living in the moment. I worry to much about all the things that have passed and what will come in the future that I don't get the chance to live for today. Well, today I am making a vow to change that. No, you can't be pregnant forever and yes, babies grow up, they get older, that's a fact. This will never change so why I spend my time worrying about it is beyond me. Time is precious and I am done wasting it on the what was's and what might be's. I know it won't be easy and there are going to be days that I miss my baby bump and each one of my sweet little babies, but today is wonderful too. I will live to cherish the moments that are here right now because tomorrow those will be gone too.

Today, I will live for today!

(I found this sweet poem on another blog and for me there are no truer words)

oh cleaning and scrubbing

will wait till tomorrow

but children grow up

as i've learned to my sorrow.

so quiet down cobwebs

dust go to sleep.

i'm rocking my baby

and babies don't keep.

-Ruth Hamilton

You can take a nurse out of the NICU, but you can't take the NICU out of a nurse.

Graham-a Baby

Since arriving home little Graham has already received his share of nick-names, mostly from Alexander.

Here are a few of them:

Graham-a Baby

Baby Gam

Graham Cracker

Cracker

Grammer Gram

Gammers

No matter what the name, he is the sweetest little baby ever!

(you asked for pictures, so here they are!)

I know I shouldn't say it, but I gonna. I lucked out for the third time and got a very easy going baby... thus far. When we were at the hospital and he took to nursing like a champ, I knew it! He wasn't going to make this too difficult on his momma.

On wednesday we had not one but two doctors appointments. The first was with his pediatrician. I am happy to report that Graham has finally gained a little weight, weighing in a hefty 6 pounds 13 ounces. The doctor gave him a clean bill and from there we rushed over to meet with our Craniofacial team at Children's. And, although the cleft is larger than we had expected it is also better than expected. The cleft does not go into his palate (this we knew once he was born) like we had once suspected. This mean fewer surgeries for him, yeah! We will meet with the surgeon on monday to make a "plan" for repair but we are aiming for between 4-6 months.

The rest of the week was spent relaxing with Daddy home and celebrating Tyler's kindergarten graduation. I can't believe that I am the mother of a 1st grader already! Graham and I have had lots of snuggle time, headed out on a few outings with Nana, but most of all soaking in each and every day with this little man in our lives.

Things I've learned...

I LOVE being pregnant and giving birth.

Pregnancy doesn't last forever and that makes me sad.

I miss feeling him move and wiggle inside.

I make A LOT of milk and am not quite sure what I am going to do with it all.

I leak.

Postpartum sucks!

I find it very hard to put my new little one down with out tearing up and my heart skipping a beat, literally.

I love seeing all my boys together... it makes me happy.

I find it hard to enjoy today without worrying about all this going by too fast... and I hate that.

I could stare at Graham for hours.

My baby is beautiful.

I am thankful for my husband and all my friends who are helping me hold things

together through this.

I hope this ends soon because I want to get back to loving this time and my life.

He's perfect to me

Please forgive me for my lack of blogging.

I have been busy soaking in every second of this little guy...

I promise I will be back soon!

Graham. Henry. Bugbee.

We are in LOVE!

Graham Henry arrived at 08:43 on friday June 10th.

He weighed in at 7 pounds 4 ounces

20.5 inches long

He is perfect in every way!

After an uneventful c- section delivery he has spent the last day eating like a champ, sleeping a lot and visiting with all our family and friends.

Tomorrow we will be 5

As I sit here the night before our third baby boy is born I find it a bit ironic. Dan and I talked about how we vividly remember me being in tears every night for a good month before Tyler was born. I was so anxious to have the baby out and I let him know it each and every day he called from Iraq. With Alex I was a little more even keel, but definitely excited to have him enter the world. This time around, knowing it is my last (so Dan says), I am not ready. I am not ready to give up this secret that I have. I am not ready to welcome this little one, I want to keep him to myself. I want to feel him move and kick throughout the day. I want to rub my belly and know that he is safe inside. I'll say it, I LOVE being pregnant.

But tomorrow, I am going to LOVE being the momma of not two but three boys and all will be okay.

Can't wait to meet you little man, we will see you soon!

Love

Alex has long been flirting with Ms. Erin at each of Tyler's T-Ball games. They each made it a point to bring snacks for each other to share while watching their older bro's play some ball. Erin has been known to feed Alex pirate booty, while Alex is always a gentleman opening her fruit snacks and helping her put her coat on. Well, finally they took the leap and arranged a picnic dinner while at the end of season party. I don't know, but I think it might be a match made in heaven.

What do we do when the sun shines in Seattle?

We have play dates with Lolo and Jeff,

eat cupcakes,

play soccer in the yard,

go for walks to the beach,

search for shells,

take our shoes off and feel the warm sand on our toes,

get loves from Aunty Nene

and we end with popsicles on the front porch.

Ahh, summer is finally coming and we LOVE it!