Maybe one day...

I will be able to say I am on top of things.  

But for now, catch up will have to do...

{ONE}

Graham Baby,

Tomorrow you are one.  

8765 hours old

356 days old

52 weeks old

12 months old

ONE YEAR OLD

... haw can that possibly be?

When I think back over the last year I feel happy, proud, accomplished and, oh so full of love.  You have brought so much to our family in your short year of life.  You have taught us love, unconditional love.  A love that transcends all.  You have taught us acceptance.  Acceptance for those that are perfect in their own way.  You have taught us strength.  Through taping, molding, and surgery you remained the happiest baby I have ever met.   We have said it before and we will say it again...

Baby G, you were meant for us.

Watching you grow and learn is, well, sad (I'll be honest).  But at the same time it is so much fun.  You worship your brothers and take in their every move.  Everyday you are doing something new just from watching them.  Your new tricks of the week are waving bye bye, of which you do with so much enthusiasm.  Bottom spinning, who knows where you learned that, but it makes us laugh.  Shaking you booty anytime you hear music.  I especially love this one.  Oh, and my favorite one, discipling Alex.  Frequently I am holding you while doing so and you decide to join in with some loud babbling of your own.

You are a momma's boy.  Way more than the other two.  Believe me, I wouldn't have it any other way.  I can't get enough of your snuggles.  Night times are usually spent rocking in the your chair, nursing and then reading followed by cuddles with your head on my chest while I smell your sweet little head.  I could do this forever, literally.  Each night I hold you just a little bit longer knowing that these snuggles won't last forever, despite my endless prayers that they will.

On the go.  If there is one thing to describe you, that would be it.  Always on the go.  You are crazy busy.   Your favorite "toys" are the cupboards, the fireplace and the outlets.  And my are you persistent!  Very little will get your attention off something that you are intent on playing with.  You are not a fan of "no".  Matter of fact, I am pretty sure you think it means, "sure Graham, go for it".  Whenever you are told no you politely look whom ever may be saying it in the eye, shake your sweet little head and the promptly go back to whatever it was you were doing.  Walking is not quite on the horizon, thank goodness.  You are content with crawling, of which you do with such speed.  

You poor little guy, are being hit with a slew of teeth.  You are working on number five and six and with how fussy you have been, I am sure there are more to follow soon.  As it appears at this point, you are missing one little eye tooth on the left.  But only time will tell, maybe it's hiding out.  I am anxious to visit craniofacial so they can see how well you are doing.

Food... you love it.  Most of the time.  When all else fails you will always take a baby food squishy.  Fruits and veggies on their own don't seem to be your favorite, but you will eat enchiladas, steak and peanut butter and jelly until you are stuffed full, then you will eat some more.  Cottage cheese is also a staple.  Dinners at Nana and Boppa's are usually finished with a special treat (usually bites of ice cream) from Aunt NeNe.  You bee line for her when it's that time.

Sleep, I won't go there.  Some nights you sleep, others you wake up once and then there are those nights you wake up 3 times.  You are smart enough now too that you refuse to go back to sleep until you nurse.  Your momma is one big sucker, that's for sure.  Like all things with you though, I am savoring each and every moment (even at 3 am) because this too shall end.

Graham, there are no words to describe our love for you.  Thank you for being you.  Thank you for being a part of our family.  Thank you for letting me wake up every morning to your smiling face.  Thank you for for teaching us what true, unconditional love is.  You are amazing, beautiful, loving and funny... and you are only one.  We are blessed to be your family.

I love you baby G,

TO THE MOON AND BACK!

Life

Wow is all I can say.  Life has gotten busier than I ever thought it would.  Every waking moment is spent preparing meals, cleaning the house, changing diapers, doing laundry, kissing boo-boo's, settling arguments, cleaning some more, driving from one activity to the next, having play dates, grocery shopping, folding clothes, working, breastfeeding... you get the point, I could go on forever.  It's getting to me.  Our lives are so busy I feel like I am missing out on these days.  I feel like they are getting away from me and I am never going to get them back.  My baby is going to be one in less than a week and I can't quite tell you where the last year has gone.  I want it to stop.  I want to hold my little baby and soak in every moment.  I want to be able to snuggle Alex without thinking about all the things I need to be doing. I want to toss the ball with Tyler without feeling guilty that there is laundry that needs to be folded.  I just want time to stop.  

I fear that I will look back at these days and wish that I could have done more with my boys.  That I would have worried less about the future and more about the present.  That I would have enjoyed every moment more.  Am I the only one that worries about this?  Each night I hold on to Graham, sleeping in my arms, just a moment longer because I know that these days I will never get back.  Yet, it never seems to be enough.  Once I lay his sleepy head in his bed I think to myself, I should have held him longer.  

I know, I am certifiable.  My husband reminds me daily.  But, this is what my life is about.  For as long as I can remember I have dreamt about getting married and having babies.  Yeah, being a nurse and working with babies is just an added bonus.  But what do I do when I no longer have a baby?  Because, inevitably, that day will come.  I love my boys and I know as they grow and we reach new territory I will enjoy it, but right now it scares me.  Right now it makes me sad.  I have always thought of myself as a "baby person".  Well, I guess I am going to have to learn to just be a "boy person". 

Portland or bust...

 You know those friends... the one that you can go forever without speaking to and then when you finally get together it's as if you were never apart.  Jenny is one of those friends.  In college she was the wild and crazy gal that I have almost every memory with, the good and the bad.  Well, after 10 long years, taking her from Germany to Spokane and then Montana she is back and I couldn't be more excited... because this time it's for good!  

She moved back 3 weeks ago and I was anxious to plan our first of many visits, so the little boys and I headed south for a few days.  It couldn't have been a better 3 days either.  We walked, we talked, we shopped and we ate... oh and we laughed... A LOT!  

No trip to Portland would be complete without a trip to the old alma mater.


It's a little crazy how 10.5 years can change you.  Here I am 3 kids later, breastfeeding my youngest on the campus of my college.



The boys had so much fun meeting Jenny's mom and playing with their wild and crazy doggy.

In our short visit we were able to squeeze in a visit to 23rd AND saturday market!
Thank goodness fort he iphone because these girls were on  a mission and without it I am sure Alex would have had nothing of it.  Yes, I am THAT mom.


And no trip to Saturday market would be complete without a trip to Voodoo donut, even with a line down the block!  The ODB donut was well worth the wait!







The street performers were, er um... entertaining, shall we say.



Graham fit right in with the locals at the street fair.



Amen Sista'!
Despite the fits and whining provided by a certain 3 year old it was a pretty great visit.  And this, I know, is only just the beginning of all the adventures we will take with the Webinger's!
Thanks for the memories!
Love You!

Catching up is hard to do...

Lucky to have a friend who knows exactly what I need, when I need it :)


Don't judge!  I know you all take pictures of yourself at red lights too!


I have to pinch myself every morning when I get to wake up to this beautiful face.  To think that there was a time in my life that I was nervous about seeing it makes me sad.  He is my perfect!


Our house motto.

We love our friday play dates with Tyler and Landon.

The dreaded homework.

Lou-Bug

Watch out 'yall.  Bugbee in the house.

Ugh, the dreaded shopping cart car.  It's only redeeming quality is the smile it brings to my baby's face.

The Party

Sadly, as I mentioned in my mother's day post, I accidentally erased all the photos from Alex's birthday party.  After a few good tears I pulled myself together long enough to do a little research.  I am one lucky girl.  Who knew that Costco could pull deleted images off of an SD card?  I wasn't able to recover them all, but I am not going to complain!

Alex was ecstatic about his party, not so ecstatic about getting his picture taken.

The beach club made for the perfect venue on a perfect day for a little Buzz Lightyear Third Birthday.

From May 2012

Most of the pictures I lost were of the table set up... bummer!  I was so proud of myself!

Once again, our friend Val made the most amazing cupcakes.




The photo booth was a hit!
Jesse and Woody couldn't get enough of it :)

{THREE}

Oh Alexander,
Where do I start with you?
You are the apple of my eye and the bearer of all my frustration all wrapped up in one.  You are stubborn but a lover, defiant and oh so strong willed.  You test me constantly and challenge me to be a better mom.  You are insanely funny!  You speak far beyond your years.  Oh, and you LOVE Buzz Lightyear.
I thank God everyday for you.  You have shown me that there is more to life than rules.  My directions are mere suggestions to you.    I am a much more relaxed with you because I pushing you only causes you to push back.  For instance binkies.  The plan was to buy you a toy, put it on the shelf and when you were ready you would give your binks to Graham and receive your toy.  Well, Alex :1  Mommy : 0.  Some how you have your Buzz Lightyear AND your binks.  Not quite sure how that happened.  Your a conniving little one!

Your smile is contagious and can bring happiness to my heart on the roughest of days.  You are always reminding me that you "love me to the moon and the stars and the sun and the clouds."  I love you more though buddy!
You are the most gracious little boy and mind your p's and q's without being reminded most of the time.



You are the best big brother ever!  Graham is so lucky to have you... some day he will appreciate that.
For now I am sure he could do without all your cuddles and kisses that frequently knock him down.
You are always the first to hear him in the morning and run to climb into his crib with him.
You love school and all your friends.  If we could you would spend every waking moment with Erin and Tyler.
Thank you Alex, for blessing our lives with your humor, your love and yes, even your defiance.
We couldn't imagine our lives without you in it.  



I love you Alex!