Thursday was an amazing day. There is no other word for it. I started my day off at 0430 when Graham woke up with his NAM hanging off his face and wanting to eat. While feeding him I grabbed my phone and found the text from one of my besties. Her water had finally broke and she was headed to the hospital... only 9 days late! That is when I knew it was going to be an amazing day. Graham was going to get his new smile and his best bud, Matthew, was soon to be entering the world!
After feeding him I taped up the NAM for what would be the last time. There was something a bit sad about it. What am I going to do with all my supplies, my nifty little box and my rubber band block? Into the keepsake box they go. Graham went back to sleep and I headed to bed for a few more z's before all the excitement began.
The morning was like any other. We got the boys ready, Tyler headed off to school and we dropped Alex off. Dan and I requested to have Graham baptized before his surgery so Grandma Jill, Dan, my mom and dad and I headed up to church. Denny, our Deacon, preformed the most amazing and meaningful ceremony. Although we knew everything was going to be alright, it put our minds at ease.
We checked into the hospital at 1245 and by this time Graham was getting ready to eat. It was going to be a long day.
The nurses took him back about 1:45p and there we were... all alone and empty-handed. I missed him already. Although I trusted these people with all my heart, I still worried.
Worry we did for the next 2 hours. We paced, we drank coffee, we talked, we updated the blog and we hugged.
Finally the call came. The nurse updated us. Things were going well, so well that they were going to be able to do the GPP procedure. But, that meant another 1-2 hours without my baby. Ugh!
So the waiting continued.
Five-thirty rolled around and what was supposed to be a 1.5-2 hour surgery had turned into a 4 hour surgery. Dan and I had never moved so fast as when we heard that beeper go off.
Dr. Hopper met us and filled us in on the surgery. I heard very little of what he said. I was more interested in seeing my little boy, scooping him up and never letting him go. After getting the update we headed to the desk to get our room number. That's when they asked us if we would like to go see Graham in recovery. A prior co-worker of mine was caring for him in the PACU and bent the rules a bit. I immediately said yes! Dan was a little more hesitant. He chose to wait and meet us at the room. I headed back to the recovery room not knowing the reaction I was going to have when seeing Graham's new smile.
At our pre-op appointment Dr. Hopper warned us that Graham's new smile would take some getting used to. We fell in love with Graham just the way he was and now he was going to be different. I approached his bed and there he was, laying peacefully in his crib. But there was one problem... he didn't look like my baby. He was swollen and so pale. His tell tale lip was gone and in it's place was a perfect little pout. Although, I knew that this was indeed my little boy, he was changed. I didn't cry and I am not quite sure why. I had all the emotions but they were trapped inside. All I could do was stare at him, kiss him and tell him mommy was there. The last nine months of worry, tears, taping, NAM, it was all over and my already perfect little boy was even more perfect. I scooped him up and just stared. He was sleepy, very sleepy. The anesthesiologist was hesitant to let him go to the floor with a respiratory rate of 13, so there we sat.
After about 30 minutes we decided that although he was not waking up (he had gotten a generous does of morphine on the way out of surgery), his sats and breathing were acceptable. I got to carry him. Walking into the room, Dan approached us hesitantly. He took one glance and I have never seen such amazement in his eyes. I have never seen Dan cry, but this is certainly the closest I have ever seen him. I laid our sleeping baby in his crib and we all just stared in amazement.
Graham slept. And slept. And slept. I requested tylenol to be started, knowing that when he did wake up, it was going to be with a vengeance. That's when the nurse walked in with a syringe of tylenol. I wasn't quite sure who he was going to give that to since the little baby sleeping in this bed was most certainly not going to be awake enough to take anything by mouth. I politely requested a rectal dose. Two and a half hours later we finally got the rectal dose and all was good.
The visitors came and went and Graham slept. That morphine was good stuff! Until 1230 am that is... he woke up and he was not happy. We repeated the dose of tylenol, started some pedialyte (with a red rubber catheter?) but he was not such a fan. After about 30 minutes of crying we gave him a dose of morphine. Ahh, comfort at last. A couple hours later we started him on scheduled Tylenol and Oxycontin which seemed to be a good combination for him. Then we slept.
4 am came around and he was awake and wanting nothing to do with the pedialyte. I "told" the nurse I was going to nurse him. After a brief moment of hesitation he latched on and went to town. Not sure it was so much nursing as pacifying, but nonetheless he was content.
The next morning we were up and going with morning rounds at about 7:15 am. Graham was happy, smiling, cooing and watching mickey mouse clubhouse. Graham has amazed me through every step of this journey and today was no different. As long as we kept on top of his pain he was a happy little camper. Plastic surgery was very pleased with his progress and let us go home at about 2 pm. Walking out of the hospital, Dan and I both agreed it felt like we were coming home with a new baby. It was like a replay of the day we brought him home after his birth. The joy and excitement, it was all there.
This journey has been one of discovery for me. I have a whole new appreciation for the families of the patients that I care for and I know my nursing care will be forever changed. I know this surgery, in the eyes of medical professionals, was minor. I have struggled with this the whole time. I care for babies that undergo open heart surgery and transplants... these are HUGE. Our little guy was going through a routine cleft lip repair. Seems simple, but to us this was huge. To us, this was our baby going through months of discomfort and then surgery. To us, this was not a simple, routine lip repair. It was our baby being put under anesthesia, intubated, and enduring a four hour surgical procedure. Anyone else that has gone through this knows that, although it may be routine, it is a BIG deal as parents.
I will forever hold the doctors, hygienists and nurses that care for Graham in our hearts. They are amazing. They gave my baby the most beautiful smile, a smile that he will wear for the rest of his life.
Through this journey we have had the most amazing support. From Nana and Boppa's willingness to help us with childcare, join us for doctor's appointments and wait with us during surgery to Grandma's travels north for the big day we couldn't be more grateful. We couldn't have done it without you guys. To all the family and friends that have been there for us every step of the way and put up with our chaos, made us meals and took me for pedicures, thank you. We couldn't have done it without you either. And lastly to all those that prayed for our little guy. I can safely say all our prayers were answered. Thank you.
From the bottom of our hearts... THANK YOU!
The nurses took him back about 1:45p and there we were... all alone and empty-handed. I missed him already. Although I trusted these people with all my heart, I still worried.
Worry we did for the next 2 hours. We paced, we drank coffee, we talked, we updated the blog and we hugged.
Finally the call came. The nurse updated us. Things were going well, so well that they were going to be able to do the GPP procedure. But, that meant another 1-2 hours without my baby. Ugh!
So the waiting continued.
Five-thirty rolled around and what was supposed to be a 1.5-2 hour surgery had turned into a 4 hour surgery. Dan and I had never moved so fast as when we heard that beeper go off.
Dr. Hopper met us and filled us in on the surgery. I heard very little of what he said. I was more interested in seeing my little boy, scooping him up and never letting him go. After getting the update we headed to the desk to get our room number. That's when they asked us if we would like to go see Graham in recovery. A prior co-worker of mine was caring for him in the PACU and bent the rules a bit. I immediately said yes! Dan was a little more hesitant. He chose to wait and meet us at the room. I headed back to the recovery room not knowing the reaction I was going to have when seeing Graham's new smile.
At our pre-op appointment Dr. Hopper warned us that Graham's new smile would take some getting used to. We fell in love with Graham just the way he was and now he was going to be different. I approached his bed and there he was, laying peacefully in his crib. But there was one problem... he didn't look like my baby. He was swollen and so pale. His tell tale lip was gone and in it's place was a perfect little pout. Although, I knew that this was indeed my little boy, he was changed. I didn't cry and I am not quite sure why. I had all the emotions but they were trapped inside. All I could do was stare at him, kiss him and tell him mommy was there. The last nine months of worry, tears, taping, NAM, it was all over and my already perfect little boy was even more perfect. I scooped him up and just stared. He was sleepy, very sleepy. The anesthesiologist was hesitant to let him go to the floor with a respiratory rate of 13, so there we sat.
After about 30 minutes we decided that although he was not waking up (he had gotten a generous does of morphine on the way out of surgery), his sats and breathing were acceptable. I got to carry him. Walking into the room, Dan approached us hesitantly. He took one glance and I have never seen such amazement in his eyes. I have never seen Dan cry, but this is certainly the closest I have ever seen him. I laid our sleeping baby in his crib and we all just stared in amazement.
Graham slept. And slept. And slept. I requested tylenol to be started, knowing that when he did wake up, it was going to be with a vengeance. That's when the nurse walked in with a syringe of tylenol. I wasn't quite sure who he was going to give that to since the little baby sleeping in this bed was most certainly not going to be awake enough to take anything by mouth. I politely requested a rectal dose. Two and a half hours later we finally got the rectal dose and all was good.
The visitors came and went and Graham slept. That morphine was good stuff! Until 1230 am that is... he woke up and he was not happy. We repeated the dose of tylenol, started some pedialyte (with a red rubber catheter?) but he was not such a fan. After about 30 minutes of crying we gave him a dose of morphine. Ahh, comfort at last. A couple hours later we started him on scheduled Tylenol and Oxycontin which seemed to be a good combination for him. Then we slept.
4 am came around and he was awake and wanting nothing to do with the pedialyte. I "told" the nurse I was going to nurse him. After a brief moment of hesitation he latched on and went to town. Not sure it was so much nursing as pacifying, but nonetheless he was content.
The next morning we were up and going with morning rounds at about 7:15 am. Graham was happy, smiling, cooing and watching mickey mouse clubhouse. Graham has amazed me through every step of this journey and today was no different. As long as we kept on top of his pain he was a happy little camper. Plastic surgery was very pleased with his progress and let us go home at about 2 pm. Walking out of the hospital, Dan and I both agreed it felt like we were coming home with a new baby. It was like a replay of the day we brought him home after his birth. The joy and excitement, it was all there.
This journey has been one of discovery for me. I have a whole new appreciation for the families of the patients that I care for and I know my nursing care will be forever changed. I know this surgery, in the eyes of medical professionals, was minor. I have struggled with this the whole time. I care for babies that undergo open heart surgery and transplants... these are HUGE. Our little guy was going through a routine cleft lip repair. Seems simple, but to us this was huge. To us, this was our baby going through months of discomfort and then surgery. To us, this was not a simple, routine lip repair. It was our baby being put under anesthesia, intubated, and enduring a four hour surgical procedure. Anyone else that has gone through this knows that, although it may be routine, it is a BIG deal as parents.
I will forever hold the doctors, hygienists and nurses that care for Graham in our hearts. They are amazing. They gave my baby the most beautiful smile, a smile that he will wear for the rest of his life.
Through this journey we have had the most amazing support. From Nana and Boppa's willingness to help us with childcare, join us for doctor's appointments and wait with us during surgery to Grandma's travels north for the big day we couldn't be more grateful. We couldn't have done it without you guys. To all the family and friends that have been there for us every step of the way and put up with our chaos, made us meals and took me for pedicures, thank you. We couldn't have done it without you either. And lastly to all those that prayed for our little guy. I can safely say all our prayers were answered. Thank you.
From the bottom of our hearts... THANK YOU!
6 comments:
This is beautiful Jen. Thanks for sharing!
I literall cried my way through this post!! What an amazing family you are!! Graham is beautiful and so lucky to have you as his mommy. His smile looks amazing! I know what you mean about it being a "simple procedure" but when it comes to your baby there isn't anything simple about it! Hugs to you all!
Hi
My name is Jenna and i came across your site. Graham, yourself and your husband are courageous, strong and determined fighters in this journey. Graham is a brave warrior, smilen champ and inspirational hero. He is a precious gift and an earthly angel. I am so happy the operation went well, and his smile is so perfect and amazing! I was born with a rare life threatening disease, developmental delays and 12 other diagnosis. www.miraclechamp.webs.com
Oh my god, how amazing! The staff at children's are the best. There is no other care like it. Graham looks amazing. I am in awe. Wow. Congrats on this hurdle. I am forever changed by children's....to my soul. What a blessing to have it in our backyard. Now go home and get to know that new cute smile!
I'm glad we could help mark this momentous day! Graham and Matthew are sure to be lifelong buds forever tied to the 22nd. We love you all and can't wait to see all the fun our boys will have!!! xoxo
I can't but help tear up when I read your post.
Hi, my name is Nicole. I do not know you, but I think we have a friend in common Megan P.
I think you are an amazing mom and that your little man is one lucky kid.
His repair is amazing.
I can relate to your story and I can only share that his new little smile will only get bigger and better!
Wishing you the best from a mom who lives up North who has a son that was born with a cleft lip as well:)
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