Pre-op

Today was our much anticipated pre-op appointment.  It was a long day but we made it.  I was so glad that Dan was able to make it to this appointment.  First off we met with the NP in the PASS clinic (anesthesia).  They weighed Graham in at 12 pounds 6 ounces and 23 inches long.  Not a whole lot of info there besides telling us we can't feed him 4 hours before surgery.  When is surgery you ask... we don't know.  Well, we know it is thursday but we don't get a time until wednesday sometime.  Ugh!

Next up was the craniofacial plastic surgery clan.  Doctor Hopper explained the procedure and we signed the consent.  We are hopeful that he will be able to do a procedure called GPP, minimizing the orthodontic surgery Graham may need in the future.  There is a 50/50 chance that it would work and he would not need bone grafting at a later age.  Graham is also tongue tied so we opted to have his frenulum clipped during the surgery.  G put on a great show for the group.  He was smiling, cooing and giggling the entire time Dr. Hopper was talking.  Dr. Kapadia even stopped in to say hi.  As I have said before, we are SO lucky to have such wonderful and caring people taking care of our little guy.  Every one reassured us that it is normal to feel hesitant and worried.  This little face that we have loved for the past 3 months is going to change and it is ok to be scared of that.  Everyone told me when we found out, by the time the surgery date rolls around you won't even want to do it because the cleft will be part of him, part of who he is.  I didn't believe them.  I was wrong.
  

Last was the appointment with our nurse and social worker.  During this time they did the preliminary admit questionnaire.  It was so odd to be the person answering the questions instead of the person asking them.  I could have given her all the answers without hearing any of the questions.  It was during this time that I reminded myself, I am the mom, not the nurse.  At times I have to pull back and let go.  I need to be his mom.  I need to kiss him, hug him and hold him and leave the rest to the great people we have taking care of us.  I need to trust in them.  

So now we wait.  We wait for thursday...  The day we have been looking forward to since that single appointment in January when we found out our little boy would be born with a cleft. 

 Somehow, right now, I am not so much looking forward to it, but dreading it.  

We will see how I feel when it gets here.

What a difference 98 days has made!